Chapter Text
“The functioning pattern of Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D), different alters alternate in the control of the state of consciousness of a person. The disorder is accompanied by memory gaps more severe than could be explained by ordinary forgetfulness. Furthermore, the person cannot remember information that they would normally remember immediately, such as: routine events, important personal information and/or traumatic or stressful events.
Dissociative identity disorder often occurs in people who have experienced devastating stress or trauma during childhood. Approximately 90% of people with this disorder have suffered serious abuse. Be they physical, sexual or emotional, or any type of severe neglect.
The most traditional symptom of dissociative identity disorder is amnesia. Amnesia can involve the following aspects:
1) Memory failures regarding past personal events: For example, the individual may not remember some periods of childhood or adolescence.
2)Discovering evidence of things they did but don't remember doing. The person may feel that a specific period of time has disappeared from their memory.
After an episode of amnesia, a person may discover objects in a closet at home or handwritten notes in handwriting that they cannot recognize. Furthermore, it is possible that they find themselves in different places than the ones they last remember being in and have no idea why they went there or how they got there. It is possible that the person cannot remember things they did or explain behavioral changes. It is possible that they will be told that they have said or done things that they cannot remember.”
Jimin stops reading for a second and raises his hand to rub his eyes. He's been sitting in front of a computer in Hollow Hill's library for about three hours now, his face buried in books and sites that could offer any information about dissociative identity disorder.
With each line, with each word he reads, things fall into place. The puzzle, which once seemed so difficult, has now become the easiest thing in the universe. As scary as the situation is, it also explains a lot. His initial confusion is quickly being replaced by a latent and unbearable anguish, which never tires of asking him what they will do with all these answers, with all these truths.
Jungkook asked, almost pleading, for Jimin to stay away from him during storms with the intention of protecting him. Basing himself off Yoongi's notes, he now knows that Jungkook fears that Ash ends up hurting him. Because Ash is someone he can't control.
That also explains his volatile behavior. The reason for him not having a roommate and being the only one with close psychiatric monitoring that other inmates don't have. As painful as it is to find out what's behind Jungkook's strange behavior, now everything makes sense. And it's horrible to realize how much that hurts to know.
Jungkook could've been like any other young guy in his 20's, doing normal things for guys his age. But instead, he's here, locked in a prison.
Lost. Wounded. Alone.
He hates the fact that someone took these things from Jungkook. A future. The chances of having a normal job, making friends, finding romance…Normal things that every guy his age does.
But no.
Jungkook is here, locked up in Hollow Hill, being dominated by his own demons, without access to proper treatment. With nothing that gives him access to a more comfortable life.
He stares at the computer screen, wondering if Dr.Yoongi had some academic books in his office that dwelled deeper into the subject. Below the article he just read, there are reports of patients diagnosed with DID. The first few lines leave his stomach churning.
I don't have power over my alters. When one of them fronts, it's their body now to do whatever they see fit. I have blackouts and time passes without me noticing. It's not only the time that passes, though, but my conscience too.
He sighs and lowers his head, leaving his forehead resting on his arms crossed on the desk. His mind is pure chaos. He can't define if he's scared or completely desolated with the whole situation.
He doesn't know how to help Jungkook, Jin, Namjoon. He can't even help himself. It's like he reached rock bottom and there's no way for him to crawl out of this hole.
Ever since he left Yoongi's office and, somehow, got to the library, his mind can't stop sabotaging him. Jungkook is unpredictable. Taehyung is a manipulative bastard. Namjoon and Jin are just as problematic, and yet he considers them his friends.
Still, he can’t help but ask himself: Who can I really trust?
Tears fill his eyes and go down his cheeks. He tries to muffle his sobs with his arms, feeling pathetic, lonely and scared.
This madness will never stop.
“I didn't know you were into psychology.” A familiar voice speaks by his side. He raises his head in time to see Namjoon taking a seat by his side.
“sh*t Joonie!” He clears his eyes with his hoodie sleeve. “You need to stop sneaking up on me like that.”
“Don't worry about it. I won't ask why you are crying like a little girl who just had her heart broken by her first crush.” Namjoon shrugs, picking up one of the open books and leafing through. “I heard about the mess at the psychiatrist office this morning. Coincidentally, you, Jungkook and Taehyung were there so I can imagine that it didn't end well.
Jimin narrows his eyes.
“Who told you that?”
Namjoon shrugs again.
“Tae did, of course.”
Jimin rolls his eyes, trying his best not to make any rude remarks. Namjoon really knows nothing about Taehyung.
“Where are you going this weekend?” Namjoon asks, still reading some random page of the book in his hands. His hair is a little more silver than usual and he's wearing fingerless gloves.
“What?” Jimin blinks, confused. “Where am I supposed to go?”
“It's Chuseok, dumbass.” Namjoon chuckles. “They let us spend some time out of this place, remember?”
sh*t. It's true.
Things had been so terrible recently that he ended up forgetting that he's allowed to spend some time home. Even shaken, knowing that he'll see Jisang again fills him with energy and hope. Finally he'll be able to talk to his baby brother, hug him and see with his own eyes if he's okay.
“I'm going home.” He says, feeling joyful to announce that out loud. He omits the fact that he'll have to deal with stepmother, though, confident that nothing will happen. Cops will be there, there's no way for him to try something. “And you, where will you be going?”
“I'm going to visit my aunt.” Namjoon sighs, seemingly not very happy with it.
Jimin nods in understanding, not wanting to delve deeper into the subject. Namjoon wasn't very fond of talking about his past and going back home, after everything that happened with his mother and sister, is probably a huge challenge for him.
“Which one of you brats is Park Jimin?” The librarian's hoarse, arrogant voice comes from behind them. Namjoon and Jimin look in the same direction and came across a very angry old lady.
“Hmm…It's me.” Jimin frowns, raising his hand, confused at the question.
“Could you follow me, please?” She crosses her arms, looking at him over her square glasses. “There are guards outside waiting for you and I don't like them here, messing up my library.”
He and Namjoon exchange one last look and he nods, closing the computer then getting up.
As the librarian said, two guards are waiting for him right outside the library. He feels a little less tense when he sees the number of them. If it was something more serious, they would probably send at least four guards to come fetch him.
“Are you Park Jimin?” One of them questions. Jimin nods. “You have a visitor. Sunja is waiting for you at the administration office.”
“A…visitor? Someone came to see me?”
The guard nods.
Nervously, Jimin follows them to the administration office. Usually, inmates only went there for their monthly psychiatric consultations or meet with lawyers, but Jimin was starting to have the impression that he's been spending way too much time in that part of the main building
He's sweating, wondering who could be waiting for him. The remote, but scary idea that maybe his stepmother decided to come torment him in person makes his blood run cold.
As soon as he arrives, he spots Sangwoo, his lawyer, talking to Sunja outside of the same room they met last time. He approaches them and is welcomed by Sunja's side-eye — she's been treating him like sh*t ever since their last ‘punishment’.
“We looked for you everywhere, kid.” She scolds, clearly mad for having to wait. She smells like cigars.
“I went to the library.” Jimin answers, looking at Sangwoo who has a weird expression on his face. “Didn't know I had a meeting planned today.”
“Eh, sort of.” Sangwoo nods, glancing at the room by his side. The door is closed. “I brought you a very important visitor. He's been waiting for you for a few minutes.”
He?!
“Don't take long. You have a few minutes.” Sunja warns, opening the door.
In that exact moment, it's like the whole world starts moving in slow motion. He sees a glimpse of a familiar mop of black hair, hands playing idly with a Venom figurine that moves along with his imagination.
“Jisang?” Jimin whispers his baby brother's name, his body frozen in the doorway.
Hearing his brother's voice, Jisang raises his head with a huge smile on his face. In the next second, he gets up from the couch and runs towards him.
Jimin kneels down to hug him tight.
“Minnie!” Jisang cheers, burying his face in his brother's neck. Jimin breathes in Jisang's scent, feeling the smell of his favorite strawberry shampoo, and he can't hold his tears anymore.
He’s here. He really is here.
“My God!” He chuckles in between his tears. “I can't believe you're here, Ji. I missed you so much.”
Jisang backs away only enough so he can wipe away Jimin's tears. It feels like years have passed since they last saw each other.
“Don't cry, Minnie. I missed you a lot too.” He smiles, with all his childlike innocence. “Are you coming home today?”
Jimin feels his heart break at the question. The hope in Jisang's eyes destroys him completely, the feeling of helplessness hurts.
He looks at the glass window in the room, where Sangwoo and Sunja are watching them. They seem to be whispering something he can't understand.
He smiles back at Jisang, kissing his forehead. He missed having his little brother in his arms so much, the only way he could protect him from the horrors of the world. Jisang made him strong.
“No, Ji…” He tries to sound reassuring and calm as he guides Jisang to sit back on the couch. “But it won't take long. Just wait a little longer, OK?”
Jisang sighs, clearly not satisfied with that answer, but he doesn't say anything back. He's a well mannered boy like that.
“Did you get my letter?” The little boy asks, staring at Jimin's face. “Auntie Youngnam helped me write it.”
Jimin nods, remembering fondly about the letter he found in his suitcase on his first day in Hollow Hill. It seems like it was an eternity ago.
“I loved it, sweetie.”
Jisang cheers, then pulls him back into a hug. Jimin's heart hurts and all he wants to do is run away from this place — get away from all those people and disappear with Jisang, where they could build a new life together where no one knows who they are.
Sangwoo suddenly enters the room, clearing his throat.
“Excuse me.” He looks over at Jimin. “Can I talk to you in private for a second, Jimin?”
Jimin sighs, hating the idea of having to let go of Jisang. He looks at his brother, memorizing his face for a second, and gives him one last hug before following his lawyer out of the room.
“What is it?” He sounds pissed for being there with Sangwoo instead of spending time with Jisang. He looks through the glass, finding Jisang staring back at them.
“I received your request.” Sangwoo purses his lips for a moment, straightening the simple suit he's wearing. “I investigated your stepmother in the last few days and monitored her communication with the institute.”
Jimin swallows nervously. He wasn't expecting it to be so quick. Suddenly his whole body starts shaking again.
“So? What did you find?”
“You were right. Not only does she maintain regular contact with someone inside the institute, she also makes regular visits. At least once a week.”
“What?!” Jimin frowns. “With who? Who is her contact?”
“Well…” Sangwoo shakes his head. “I still do not know. It's more complicated. It requires a court order to demand recordings from security cameras, to talk to employees…”
“Then do it! Do it now. Find out what that bitch is doing as soon as possible.”
“There's one more thing.” Sangwoo sighs sadly. “Your stepmother denied your request for a home visit this weekend. You will not be released for the holiday.”
Jimin parts his lips. A little shocked. A little furious. Maybe a mix of both.
She didn't do that…Did she?
“But…everyone is going back home!” He protests, feeling helpless and wronged, as if what he's suffering here wasn't enough. How could that woman deny him even that?
“Unfortunately this is the term. You can only leave if the person responsible agrees to receive you. Otherwise, you are not allowed to leave the institute.” Sangwoo takes a breath and then shakes his head. “I'm very sorry, Jimin.”
Jimin blinks slowly, trying not to freak out in front of Jisang. He can't believe he'll only have this moment with his brother, inside a cramped room with no privacy.
“Listen,” Sangwoo continues, looking at the time on his watch. “you only have three more minutes with your brother, that's why he's here. Your stepmother did not accept your visit, but allowed him to have a few minutes with him here. That's all I got, Jimin.”
Jimin rubs his eyes with his sleeve, feeling his throat tight. After he enters the room again, all that happiness of seeing his brother is replaced by the iminent desperation of having to say goodbye.
“Minnie, did you know mom got me a dog? His name is Geon, he sleeps on my bed.” Jisang says as he approaches, excitedly fumbling with his Venom toy.
“Oh really, baby?” Jimin smiles, sitting by his side. “I can't wait to meet him.”
Jisang smiles at him. He tries to return the gesture, but all he can do is nod slightly. Even though he needs to be strong for the little boy, it's hard to take. Having to walk away from him feels like hell itself.
Through the window, Sangwoo points at his watch, signaling that their time is over.
“Listen, Ji, I have to go now.” Jimin says, feeling his voice crack at the end. His heart never hurt so much.
“Already?” Jisang frowns. “But I just came in, Minnie!”
“I know, baby, but I don't make the rules here.” He leans over and kisses Jisang's forehead. “But I promise that—”
He stops talking. He grabs Jisang's wrist and stares at the big dark bruise — almost black — on the skin of his forearm.
“Ji…” He mutters, feeling all his blood drain from his face. “Love, where did you get hurt?”
“Mom wanted me to go to bed early yesterday but I wanted to stay up watching a movie.” Jisang blinks sleepily, running his fingers over his arm. “She pulled my arm, without meaning to, and I fell. It was nothing.”
No.
This isn't happening.
“And what else?” Jimin asks, trying to appear calm and collected. “Did she do something else to you?”
Jisang shakes his head.
“No, you don't have to worry. I think she's just stressed. Auntie Youngnam is not working with mom anymore, so now she has to take care of me alone.”
sh*t, sh*t sh*t!
Jimin's throat suddenly closes. The room starts to become even smaller. The air can't reach his lungs, and he feels like he's going to suffocate to death. That's exactly the feeling. Of death.
“Youngnam is not with you anymore?” He asks, just to make sure, even though he knows Jisang would never lie about that. “Ji…Who is bathing you?”
“Now it's all mom.” Jisang shrugs. “I told her that I'm a big boy now and I can do it alone, but she always insists.”
Jimin clenches his fists tightly at his sides, feeling despair take control of his thoughts. The memories of his stepmother touching him and whispering horrible things in his ear grips him cruelly. Mainly because, in his shoes, he keeps imagining Jisang.
No.
This can't be happening.
Did he let this happen?
He feels the touch of Sunja's rough hands on his arm. She's pulling him up.
“Sorry, kid, but the visiting hour is over. You need to go back to your room.”
“No!” Jimin screams, freeing his arm. “I'm not leaving here and you're not taking my brother back to that monster. This ends here, do you understand? Will not happen!”
He's shaking. Burning.
“Minnie…” Jisang's scared voice echoes in his ears. “Why are you screaming? What's happening?”
“I don't want to have to restrain you in front of your brother, kid.” Sunja crosses her arms, staring at him cruelly. “Make things easy and maintain your dignity. At least in front of the child.”
He holds Jisang's shirt, feeling his eyes burn. Jisang clings to him too, scared and confused by the scene. He hates that Jisang has to be here. He hates that he has to see his older brother full of despair. However, he can't let him go back. He can't.
“My brother... won't... go back... to that... monster.” He sobs between words, tears streaming down his cheeks. Jisang is curled up behind his back, clinging to his neck.
“You really like feeling pain, don't you?” Sunja shakes her head, clearly in pure disgust. “Guards!” She shouts and gestures with her fingers towards the exit. Quickly three guards appear from the door. “Take the guy to the dorm. Be careful not to hurt the child.”
They nod and advance.
“No!” He screams and grabs Jisang. “No, please! Don't take him from me! Don't take him from me!”
Jisang starts crying and is looking at the guards in fear. Jimin hugs him with all the strength he has at the moment and he feels the smell of strawberries invade his nostrils again. I won't let them hurt her. I am not going to!
One of the guards pulls him by the hair and roughly pulls him away from Jisang. The boy screams, raising his hands towards Jimin, and his crying becomes uncontrolled.
“No!” Jimin begs, kicking and trying to free himself. “Don't take him from me. Let me go!”
Jisang tries to reach him, but is restrained by a guard, who picks him up. His Venom figurine falls to the floor, and he reaches out to his older brother, calling him. Jimin tries to reach him, but he's stopped by another guard, who grabs his arms and puts them behind his back.
“Let me f*cking go!” He shouts. But he's being grabbed from behind, by a man much stronger than him.
He's dragged into the hallway and passes Sangwoo, who's looking at him in shock. He seems indignant, and yet he doesn't interrupt them.
“Take care of him, please!” Jimin pleads, feeling more tears run down his face and run down to the base of his neck. “Please protect him from her! I beg you!”
Sangwoo nods, perplexed.
One of the guards restrains Jimin's wrists with handcuffs and all he can hear, as he's taken away from his brother, is Jisang uncontrolled and frightened crying. The little boy asks for him, but there is no one in this place who will let him return to comfort him.
This hurts so much.
Tomorrow is Chuseok. It lasts three days.
Everyone is getting ready to leave Hollow Hill and go back to their homes. Including Namjoon, who piled up some of his clothes inside a red suitcase and left it by the side of his bed.
Watching everyone get ready, excited to spend time out of those walls tomorrow, only serves to remind Jimin of one of the worst moments of his life: the day he had to leave his brother alone and screaming for him.
Three days had passed since Jisang's visit. He has barely eaten or slept since then. His time was spent skipping the warden's classes and due to it, he was forced to have an appointment with the main doctor. He made an effort to look extremely sick and tired and with his success, the doctor deemed that he wasn't fit to go to Jungnam's classes for about a week.
Since then he has barely left his bed.
Standing in front of the mirror, he feels weak and exhausted. He's wearing only a big tank top that engulfs his skinny body. Still, the marks on his legs and arms are clearly visible.
On the day of Jisang's visit, he fought hard to stop his baby brother from going back to his stepmother. He wasn't successful, clearly, and got a beating as a punishment for his rebelliousness. It felt like the marks would never disappear, from both his soul and body.
He sucks the air into his chest and swallows the burning in his throat. Despite his emaciated face and the horrible feeling of guilt and anguish, he tries to remember what Jungkook told him the last time they were alone.
“Would you like your brother to have to go through the same things you did? You won't be able to protect your brother if you're dead. That’s why you can’t just give up.”
He's been thinking about that day by day. It's honestly what's been keeping him from getting into trouble, because he needs to stay alive and strong and in control of his own mind — even if it’s pathetic staring at himself in the mirror now.
He looks at Namjoon's empty bed, who is accompanying Jin to another lecture in the auditorium. There's an old iPod with a pair of earphones wrapped around it over the sheets, another object that was smuggled among the inmates.
He picks it up and dares to put on the earphones. Namjoon's playlist consists of mostly hip hop and R&B which is honestly very fitting. He scrolls down and finds some familiar Daniel Caesar songs so he puts it on.
It's a little weird listening to music like this now. Being locked in Hollow Hill for so long made him forget the simple pleasures of life, like enjoying some random songs.
He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and leans on the window ledge. The moment he opens them again, he is faced with an extremely empty scene below him.
Or better said, almost empty.
Jungkook stands next to the abandoned gym, with his hands in his pockets and one shoulder resting on the building's cement beam. His lips surround a burning cigarette, and his gaze seems to admire the emptiness in front of him.
It's almost impossible to contain the instinct to look in his direction, or to feel slightly attracted, even from afar. Looking at Jungkook like this, so quiet and unassuming, makes Jimin think of all the things the psychiatrist described about him. About Ash. Of his possible dark past.
Why does he want to feel his lips so much now? Why, despite all the sh*t that's happening, all he can think about is kissing Jungkook's body and completely losing himself in him?
He feels completely devoured by his f*cked up life and maybe that has just made him completely suicidal. Even though he wants to be strong, he wants to be with Jungkook at all costs. At least today. At least now. Even if it's a goodbye.
I want it.
As if he could hear Jimin's insane thoughts, Jungkook tilts his face and looks right in his direction. Jimin sucks in a breath and turns away from the window, feeling his heart punch his ribs.
The movement causes the earphone to escape from the iPod and the device to fall to the floor. Namjoon's playlist continues playing, and the sound now echoes throughout the room.
He still remembers the first time he saw Jungkook, being dragged away through the corridors by the guard after trying to escape. Beaten and bloody.
He thought it was fear he felt, but now he knows it's completely different. The sensation that took over that night is completely unexplainable. He felt it before, though.
Jungkook looked inside his eyes and saw his soul. It was intimate. It was ravishing. And, in that minute for reasons that he can't understand, they were united forever.
And, since then, he always feels the same thing. Every time he stares into the night sky that is Jungkook's eyes, he's swallowed by him completely. Because Jungkook and Asher are the most hungry creatures he met in his entire life and nothing leaves them satisfied.
He picks up the iPod from the ground and turns off the music. He stays quiet for a few seconds, the only sound being the quick rhythm of his breathing.
The sound of knocks on the door makes him jump. He looks at it, fearing the worst. Still, he approaches the door and opens it, his lips parting when he sees the figure standing on the other side.
“Are you throwing a party and didn't invite me?” Jungkook jokes, giving Jimin one of his beautiful smiles. His hands are still in his pockets.
Despite the almost cheesy attempt to appear funny, his look is not at all amused. His irises are darker than ever and seem insatiable.
“N-no, I'm alone.” Jimin answers, immediately regretting it. It sounded like an invitation rather than an affirmation.
“Interesting.” Jungkook replies, entering the room. “I think I really need to meet you, alone.”
“I didn't invite you in.” Jimin closes the door behind him, feeling every part of his body react to Jungkook's presence and throb in places he didn't even think were possible. In fact he is the most hypocritical person in this world, and he doesn't care one bit. Jungkook is so much more.
Jungkook turns his body to look at him and literally devours Jimin's completely naked legs underneath his shirt. Jimin stares at his own body, remembering only now that he's wearing nothing but a tank top and underwear.
Jimin crosses his arms over his chest and tries not to look affected, or embarrassed, but he can already feel the blood throbbing in his cheeks.
“I'm sure there's nothing here that you haven't already seen.” He says.
“You're right.” Jungkook approaches him with two slow steps. The combat boots he's wearing are heavy, and the sound of them against the floor makes the moment even more tense and temptingly suffocating. “But seeing you half-naked never stops being new, Jimin.”
Jimin shivers.
sh*t.
No matter how hard he tries, he can’t stay away from Jungkook.
“Kook, really, what do you want?” He asks, backing away two steps. His back hits the door and a sigh escapes his lips.
Jungkook nods slowly, never taking his eyes off his. His face is still bruised from what happened at the office reception. And, to tell the truth, Jimin has gotten used to seeing him like that. Mainly because it just makes the boy even more attractive.
“'ve been wanting to come here for a while to find out why you're not going to class anymore, or why I'm not seeing you in the canteen anymore.” He stops in front of Jimin, with very little space separating them. “But after rehearsing and thinking so much, I don't know what I'm doing here anymore.” He brings one of his hands to Jimin's lips and touches them gently. “You've been driving me crazier than I normally am, Jimin.”
The contact of Jungkook's fingers on his face was enough for Jimin to melt completely. He has to fight the voracious urge to close his eyes and bask in that feeling.
Instead, he continues watching Jungkook's hungry irises. He feels them devouring him and reducing him to nothing less than a silly, passionate little boy.
It's at that moment that the psychiatrist's warning appears like a red alert, in big letters, in his head. He must use all his willpower to keep it in mind.
“No one has managed to get that close without getting severely hurt.”
“You told me once that, if I was smart enough, I should stay away from you for good.” He tilts his chin a little so as not to let Jungkook's height intimidate him. “If you really wanted that, you're not making things easy, Kook.”
“But that's exactly the truth.” Jungkook's hand drops from Jimin's lips and fits perfectly on the side of his neck. “I never wanted to stay away from you.”
Jimin's breathing wavers, and, little by little, his barriers crumble. Finally he looks away from Jungkook's eyes and glimpses the wonderful scene it is to have his lips so close.
“I need you, Jimin.” Their breaths mix as his fingers trace one of Jimin's thighs. “I've been going through hell the last few days.” He closes his eyes and whispers: “I've never needed you more than now.”
Not being able to resist those words, Jimin surrenders to him. He kisses Jungkook hungrily, nor having time to think about it, and Jungkook embraces him lovingly, kissing back with so much care and passion that Jimin can't stop the sigh full of want that leaves his lips.
In his mind, he tells himself that this is a goodbye.
Jungkook is dangerous and he knows he can't stay close to him without putting his objectives at risk. He knows. But for now, in this exact minute, he wants to pretend all his choices are easy and that he doesn't have to suffer with the consequences of them.
Feeling a thin trail of tears run down the corner of his eyes, Jimin plunges his fingers into Jungkook's hair and jumps into his lap. Jungkook's hands grab his hips, as if he's been waiting for that movement his whole life. His tongue never stops searching for Jimin's.
He can't explain how much the absence of Jungkook destroyed him in these last few days, how much he's been going through withdrawal from having his body exclusively for him. The distance has made him more selfish than he's been his entire life.
“I can't lose you.” Jungkook mutters, grabbing Jimin's hair from behind. “I need you with me.”
Jimin tries to keep that plea out of his head for now and focuses on the movements of Jungkook's hands under his shirt. Jungkook throws him onto one of the beds and climbs over his body. The meeting of his tongue with the bare skin of Jimin's neck makes him moan and throw his head back.
“Say something, please.” Jungkook begs and holds Jimin's thighs a little tighter around his waist. “Say you won't leave me, that you'll stay with me.”
They pull away slightly, just to look at each other. A suffocating lump forms in Jimin's throat as he realizes how desperate the boy is for his answer.
“I'm here now, Kook.” He holds Jungkook's face with my hands and looks intensely into his eyes. “And that's all that matters.”
A deep crease appears between his eyebrows. His lips part, and Jimin brings their mouths together before he can say anything. Jungkook doesn't fight his advances, because, even when he's upset, his tongue responds to Jimin easily.
Jimin pulls the sides of Jungkook's shirt up, and the boy finishes the job by pulling it over his head. He sees once again those scars outline his arms and the urge to cry returns with full force.
“Jungkook is a very traumatized boy…Just like you and many others in this place.”
He closes his eyes tight and kiss Jungkook's lips, speeding up the pace. The taste is painful, but it is also the only action capable of silencing his mind. The cure to keep away what hurts him.
Jungkook lifts Jimin's shirt and they quickly have nothing to separate them from each other. That feeling takes Jimin's breath away. God, what is Kook doing to me? He never felt this in his life. It's as if every part of him belongs to this boy, generally so dark and mysterious, but who can drive him crazy like no one else. This realization leaves him with shaky legs and breathless.
And his body wants more. More from Jungkook.
He pushes himself forward when he feels Jungkook's turn hard between his groin. The boy absorbs his moan with a kiss and pulls his hips closer to him. The moment he finally slams himself inside, they both sigh together.
Jungkook can't contain the pace. His thrusts start quickly and urgently. Jimin digs his nails into the boy's shoulders and tries his best to keep his moans under control, but with each thrust it becomes more difficult.
One of Jungkook's hands grabs his chin firmly and prevents their eye contact from ending. Jimin feels like Jungkook doesn't want to miss anything at all from this moment and there's nothing inside him that wants to go against the boy's wishes.
Jungkook's heavy breathing, the overwhelmingly sexy and irresistible sound of his body moving against Jimin’s, hislook full of care and devotion to me is all Jimin needs right now. It's the medicine he'd been craving all these days.
He's so perfect.
From the muffled sound of his moans, he knows Jungkook is almost there. And as that approaches, the spasms leave Jimin on the verge of a delicious collapse.
“Jimin…”
Jimin nods, begging him not to stop. This is enough to make Jungkook's resistance go away completely. His moans become more shrill, and his grip on Jimin's hair even stronger. Jimin throws his head back and grip the sides of the bed to follow the numbing sensation that quickly rises through his body.
“Jungkook…” The whisper escapes his lips. Right now, he's made of only tremors and sensations. The hot liquid now running down his legs makes him want to scream in satisfaction.
They stayed hugged in the same position for a few seconds, just enjoying the sound of their rapid breathing. Jimin is a little disappointed to see Jungkook straighten himself up and get off his body. He's not ready to say goodbye to this warm, cozy feeling just yet. I
He supports his body weight on his elbows and looks towards Jungkook who is sitting at the foot of the bed, arms resting on his knees.
The boy sighs heavily and turns in his direction.
“We are over, aren't we?” Jungkook asks. His eyes are very dark and seem too cold for someone who has just had sex. “This that just happened. It was you saying goodbye.”
Jimin bites his lip to keep it from trembling.
He uses part of the bed sheet to cover his body and carefully adjust himself to the mattress. It's weird seeing Jungkook looking at him like that. If it were anyone else, he could even say that the boy is sad.
“I'm scared, Kook.” He reveals with the utmost sincerity. “There is a lot happening to me. Bad things. I can't deal with all of this.”
Jungkook is not surprised by his words. On the contrary, it's like he’s been waiting for them. Seeing this makes Jimin want to cry.
“Are you afraid of something I did?” The boy asks, but doesn't look at him. He is head down with his hands clasped around his knees.
Jimin assesses the well-defined muscles of Jungkook's back and his disheveled hair hanging just above his eyes. That's not what he wants to be talking about after having sex with him. What the hell!
He takes a deep breath and shakes his head.
“I'm afraid of the things you don't tell me.” He answers, feeling the blood in his veins run cold. It's a morbid sensation compared to what Jungkook made him feel minutes ago.
“I don't know what you think I'm hiding.” Jungkook says harshly, putting on his shirt over his head. “But I'm not obligated to talk about anything personal. Not to you or anyone.”
Jimin parts his lips in shock.
“Are you really going to turn into the idiot you always are?” He shakes his head and pulls the sheet to cover his body a little more. The fact that he's naked after receiving a response like that makes him feel foolish. “I think now you know why it's all over. You are causing this!”
Already dressed and ready to leave, Jungkook looks right in his direction, scrutinizing him.
“It wouldn't be the first time I've destroyed something. I'm more used to goodbyes than you might imagine. So, if you want to end what we have, feel free. It won't break my heart any more than it already is.”
Jimin blinks repeatedly as he hears the high-pitched thumping in his chest. He wants to retort, but absolutely nothing comes out. The words Jungkook just said hurt more than he thought possible.
Jungkook lingers on Jimin for another second, stopping especially at his lips, which are still swollen from their kisses, and then slams the door behind him, without waiting for a response.
He wants to ask Jungkook to come back. But he can't. His pride was devoured with everything that was left of his heart.
