Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. Welcome to the Campaign After the Campaign. This is not another D&D Podcast. Welcome back to Bahoomyah everybody. Bahoomyah. I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy joined by Jay Kerwitz. Putting this conflict to bed by taking Alexandrite to the meat shed. Call her killed then.
Starting point is 00:00:31 Oh yeah! We're taking him to the meat shed. Gotta take him to the shed. Opa Rocky 1 style. Exactly. Yeah, the meat freezer in that film. And then of course we've got Emily Axford. Mistress of the cryptic
Starting point is 00:00:46 triptych Calliope Petrich Love a triptych. I thought you were gonna change your last name in that moment. I think I forgot my own name Triptych I had the thought of what character am I playing? Yeah, seated sort of. That pushed everything out and rightfully so. That's an M&M rhyme. You're a rap god. Yeah And then of course we've got Coldwell Tanner. Saul Bufo, ready to go go go, pressing X to skip intro. Come on I'm ready. Let's go. All right All right, fine. No recap. And Saul is attacked by Alexandrite.
Starting point is 00:01:22 Power Word killed. You have less than 100 HP? This is what I wanted. Solace is dead. No, let's go ahead and do a little recap. So last time, great attitude everyone. So last time. If you absolutely have to. Oh my God, terrible energy.
Starting point is 00:01:40 I f*cking hate this. If you must. So last time you battled Havoc and chased after Gawain for the Ice Knife. During the fight, Kali found a side chamber where Gawain had completed his last challenge. There she discovered the ashes of a spell scroll and carvings on the wall, depicting the Ice Knife going to Alexandrite and then combining with another sword to open the gate to the Feywild. While she pondered this, Sol managed to catch up with Gawain as he prepared to pull the sword from the frozen statue of Ariox.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Sol attempted to reason with him, but to no avail. Next round, he was joined by Kali. Together they were able to wrench the relic away from the determined frost giant, but as Havoc attempted to steal the sword back, Kali heard the voice of her mother echoing, If your opponent thinks they have all the pieces, to win, let them, and allowed herself to be disarmed. Gawain grabbed the ice knife and ran out onto the mountain. After Kali deduced that the other sword in the etching could be shard, Calder saw a vision of Gawain's last challenge, where he agreed to a plan to defeat Alexandrite
Starting point is 00:02:45 and to have his memory wiped to avoid her detection. Gawain was asked for an anchor memory to trigger the plan, and he recounted a winter spent training Calder how to fight in the meat shed, Opa, Rocky 1 style. Knowing that Gawain was now involved in the plot to defeat Alexandrite, Calder rushed into the main chamber atop Honeysuckle while Saul attempted to catch Gawain was now involved in the plot to defeat Alexandrite, Calder rushed into the main chamber, atop Honeysuckle, while Saul attempted to catch Gawain out on the mountain. Unfortunately, when Saul got too close, he saw Alexandrite waiting and was rendered incapacitated by her power. Inside, Caly shattered the Statue of Ardax to free his spirit,
Starting point is 00:03:18 and the Ghost filled Duck Team with his power, reviving Saul. Out on the mountain, you watched Gawain hand the ice knife over to Alexandrite. She held up the sword and pointed it at the rift, but the portal did not open. Unbeknownst to her, she was missing a component. The sword shard. Calder cast Booming Blade on it, then shouted Meat Shed at Gawain, triggering the plan. As Gawain launched in to wrestle the ice knife from Alexandrite, he stabbed her with it, sending havoc through her like a virus. She was gravely injured by the attack, but managed to incapacitate Gawain with a powerful
Starting point is 00:03:53 electric charge. As she clutched her real wound, Ariox gave you one last burst of power, a long rest, and a level. And that's where we are now. Everybody go ahead and roll initiative. It's a new fight. Holy sh*t. It's a new fight, a new day.
Starting point is 00:04:11 Yes, that's a nat 20. Oh sh*t, okay. Damn. All right, finally he's learning. He's excited about the nat 20 and initiative. How about that, folks? Would have been much better on an attack, but still pretty cool.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Not so much for a monk though, right? Not so much for a monk though. Yeah, pretty interesting. It's true. It's, what? I actually know it's true. For a monk, it wouldn't mean that much. There you go.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Okay, I got you guys. Yeah, I'm not excited. Can we just skip ahead to when I do something cool? Yeah, this is a terrible attitude. I hate it. It's bleeding into the episode. It's bleeding into the episode. I got an 18.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Okay. 15. All right. That is a 30 total for me. Can I give some of my initiative to other people? No. Okay. So to kind of clarify what's going on here, Alexandrite, you know that Alexandrite has the ability to upload her consciousness and her power into different bodies. However, the virus of havoc is stopping her from using the ability to like
Starting point is 00:05:03 fast travel to another body, to inhabit another body. So if you kill this form of her, you can potentially kill her. She still has powers, but they're unstable. She needs to be hit with the ice knife at least once every round. Until she is killed or she can potentially patch the wound or send her consciousness somewhere else.
Starting point is 00:05:24 You saw that as Gawain stabbed into her, she did like a burst of power that sent the Ice Knife into the snow. So she does not currently have it in her. She is injured and much like, you know, like a vampire needs to be hit with fire or radiant damage every turn, she needs to be hit with this virus.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Otherwise she can start reviving herself. The Ice Knife, we're gonna, we'll keep it very simple. It's powerful, but it's a little clunky. It's a long sword for giants, so it's very big. It's got Buster Sword vibes, if Calli or Saul use it. But anyone can use it. I know that narratively it's called it, but I really, really want one turn with it,
Starting point is 00:06:04 just to be so tiny and holding a huge sword. We got to treat it like a pinata. If he gets incapacitated or something, somebody's got to hit her or she can get away. It's a plus eight to hit flat. So you can just write that down. That's plus eight to hit. It's 2d6 of damage plus your modifier.
Starting point is 00:06:19 So just whatever you add to attacks, put that. And it's a 2d8 of viral smite. So that's automatic. You don't have to spend spell slots or anything. She's just weak to it and takes an extra 2d8 of damage. And then if she's hit with the ice knife, we shall see what happens. There are essentially wild magic surges and she might switch forms. But the ice knife is sticking out of the snow right now. She does not have it. It is night.
Starting point is 00:06:43 The rift in the sky glows green above. There is an eerie calm as Alexandrite shifts focus from her wound to locking in on you across the mountain pass. She has lost any visage of humanity, no longer a mechanical dryad, but instead a strange being of glowing wires. She glitches from her wound that sends charges up through her body. Her eyes glow red with power as she hovers over to you, but Saul, you are first to act at initiative 30. Okay, so Gowan is on the ground. Yes.
Starting point is 00:07:24 Can I do like a perception on Gowan to see if he's like stable if he's dying what's what's going on? Totally. Yeah, yeah. Great. It's gonna be a 16. Okay, on a 16, you see that his chest is rising, he's taking like shallow breaths, you get the sense looking at him that he had an extreme version of what just happened to you happen to him. So he's like incapacitated by some great like synaptic static. Needs like a greater restoration. Okay, great. All right.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Well, in that case, I'm going to head for the ice knife. Okay. I'm going to sprint over to that. I'm going to grab it and then kind of pick it up as if I'm doing like a hammer throw. Don't lick it, whatever you do, don't lick it. Yeah. And I'm gonna spin it around and get closer
Starting point is 00:08:13 and closer to Alexandrite, but then at the last minute, I'm gonna fling it back towards Kali. To a fly? Towards Kalibe? Yeah. Okay. As you go near it, you pull it out of the snow. It is extremely heavy in your hands,
Starting point is 00:08:29 but you feel just the sort of the power of your fate here and the need for you to deliver in this moment. You see Alexandrite looks at you as you pick up the sword and goes, what are you doing, Saul? Here comes havoc! You toss it back, Calli grabs it out of the air, is holding this giant sword. I look so confused, did you mean to throw it to me?
Starting point is 00:08:55 Did you miss Calder? It definitely slipped. Alexandrite looks up, wait, what? Calder just has his hand up in the air and gives Kelly a thumbs up with it. Right on. You think you can finish me off with that, oh, it's back there now.
Starting point is 00:09:14 That's right, you can't predict what I've done. You do see she's rewinding and just starts saying random things like a music box comes out through her mouth She just starts playing random music as she's just searching trying to figure out what you're doing That's so funny if we feed her an unexpected narrative And our G canna finally gets out there behind you guys and starts laughing you guys are so random You're just like being all my friends
Starting point is 00:09:43 Alexandra goes you should have outgrown this. Ha ha ha. So I be beams at Kenna's compliment. Ha ha ha. Kenna's just laughing way too hard. This is serious, I think. This is just how me and my mates are. If you can't handle it, then you can't roll with our crew.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Analyzing, analyzing, tone, incorrect. Ha ha ha. Okay, is that my action? You can't roll with our crew analyzing analyzing tone incorrect Okay, is that my action that is not your action you can you can toss the sword as sort of a free action Whoo, okay, Saul wipes the grease off of his palms And then prepares to actually attack right on I'll go ahead and do a little uppercut on Alexandra. Sweet Yeah, you rush forward you see that She's quite fast she launches in to go attack you but as she's kind of short Circuiting and trying to regain control of her body. She doesn't have perfect control anymore, and you are faster So you fly in you guys see like Dragon Ball Z style they flash in against each other and Saul goes for a big uppercut I wonder how some spores will feel on your circuits.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Does a 17 hit? 17 does not hit. Yes, she won't find out yet. I don't know, and I don't care to find out. See, she leans back fully, does like a full backbend with her head, unnaturally, in the snow. It's pretty funny. Why? You wouldn't get it. it's peregrine humor.
Starting point is 00:11:08 I'm gonna go ahead and do... Dive laughing. Canna, we are just on the same page today. We are just on the same level. This is why we're lads. I'm gonna do a second attack. Right on. 21?
Starting point is 00:11:21 21 does hit. So as she leans back, you see that she predicted the big uppercut But you swoop around and you do like a leg sweep under her legs. Yeah, how big is she? She is just humanoid size right now. She's sort of like warping and defying her Bodily container if that makes sense like the sort of silhouette of her is almost like wet and moving alright I am gonna attempt to just throw this computer into the swamp and just fill her with mushroom spores right on
Starting point is 00:11:50 Yeah, your hand out, and you see it begin charging into her wires stop. That's all that's not right Sorry our humor is a little twisted, and I'll go ahead and flurry of blows as well right on And I'll go ahead and flurry of blows as well. Right on. 20 to hit. 20 hits. And then a 15 isn't gonna hit. 15 does not hit. So you sweep out her legs,
Starting point is 00:12:10 you give her one good punch in the chest. When you go to punch again, she rolls out of the way looking like she almost disappears. Like you feel a leftover like ectoplasm where she was. All right. If you're gonna continue to be unpredictable, we'll just have to grow stronger and better. Always upward. That is the point of the network, Saul. We can grow together. Don't twist
Starting point is 00:12:31 my words. We're the ones that are twisting our humor here. 31 points of damage. All right, not an insignificant amount of damage. You do see as you're hitting her, it does seem like it's actually affecting her. Her body is moving. You see like weird goo leaking out of her wounds. Oh no, my goo. What is that? She also likes goo, Nola. Not goo, Nola. What do you run on?
Starting point is 00:12:55 You know, oil and wires and things. Why is it chunky? Was not expecting this much goo, honestly. There's machine stuff in there as well. It's not just oil. That's my turn. Okay, after Sol's turn, Alexandrite is next, but before she even goes,
Starting point is 00:13:12 she's gonna burn two legendary actions, actually, to use a special ability. She sees that Kali is holding the ice knife right now. So is going to turn and shoot a mind weakening ray at her. You see Alexandrite's eyes glow red and she shoots an optic blast at you Callie. Go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw. Wow what a look. She's pissed. I am unhappy. Have a plus zero to intelligence. Okay, gotta get a 19 or higher on this. Got a 13. Okay. I think it's like impossible. Do I use my luck blade here?
Starting point is 00:13:52 I think I do. Yeah, you're gonna use your luck blade. I'm gonna use my luck blade. Okay. Try to beat this. I didn't beat it. Okay, Callie, you use up your luck blade. You take 33 damage from this beam and you also feel static as your mind is like temporarily
Starting point is 00:14:11 hijacked. You feel like a static in your brain and you cannot cast spells or activate magic items for one minute. You can repeat the saving throw at the end of your turns but you straight-up forget how to cast spells and you look at the ice knife and You see that Havoc stops sort of exploding out of it. You don't know how to use the smites on it Okay. Oh boy, but all she had as long as the ice knife hits Alexandra no, she cannot activate like the smiting thing on it. She she cannot use magic items Um, I hold it up and I mean, honestly,
Starting point is 00:14:46 I'm glad this happened to me, not Calder. So this is perfect. This has been a perfect version. I hold up the Ice Knight. After Alexandra's legendary action, that is her turn proper. She's going to look over at Calder and do the same thing. Calder goes and gives an intelligence saving throw.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Good intelligence, come on. I've got good intelligence. As you see, an eye beam shoots out. She's just very coldly, as she dodges a bunch of Saul's follow-up attacks, she just coldly analyzes the battlefield and is just shooting these eye beams at you guys. What's with the stink eye? So rude.
Starting point is 00:15:22 23. 23 passes. OK, so Calder, you actually are now immune to the effects of this. You cannot be affected by this again. So you only take, you take 16 damage, you take half damage from that, from passing. But you are not, you feel a moment of static in your brain.
Starting point is 00:15:38 You sort of clutch your head and feel your legs wobble, but then you get your mind right and you are able to sort of recalibrate yourself and you're still able to use your spells and abilities. After the Eyebeam, she's going to take two claw attacks. You see she holds out her hand and sort of just sharpens her fingers and begins swiping them across Saul's face. 25 to hit Saul.
Starting point is 00:16:05 Ooh, that hits. Whoa. Okay, that is 16 damage. Okay. Unlike a sort of normal enemy that will sit there and just like crack you, she's so fast that with one strike, she goes after Saul, and the next strike she's already around trying to roundhouse kick Callie. You see she's right up in your face.
Starting point is 00:16:22 That's only an 18 to hit you, Callie? That misses. That misses. So Callie hit you, Kali? That misses. That misses. So Kali, you see at the last second, you're like about to be roundhouse kicked. You see her foot flying at your face. You are trying to gather your thoughts to regain your arcane knowledge,
Starting point is 00:16:34 but you snap back to the present and quickly dodge this attack. Impressive foresight, Kaliope. What? Where am I? You dodge that by accident? That is so frustrating for me. I think she tripped.
Starting point is 00:16:52 It's sort of like a Jar Jar Binks thing. That's like clumsy to my- No, no. It was very Jar Jar, yeah. Peek behind the screen, Emily saw episode one for the first time. Let's limit our references. Biting my tongue. I was like, are we gonna talk about it?
Starting point is 00:17:11 I guess we're talking about it. We're not, we're actually not. Okay, so she is going to, at initiative 20, take a lair action. You see that she holds up a trembling hand. Her skin is see-through, wires overcharged and glowing. You see she clenches her fist and then raises it, and you feel a deep quake from beneath the earth. Rocks and boulders begin rolling down from higher up the mountain. Huge clumps of snow begin falling down.
Starting point is 00:17:41 Everybody give me Dex saving throws. Okay. Kenna's... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! She tries to go and dive and grab gallon who's incapacitated 17 for calder 18 for client p26 for Saul okay Saul is the only one who passes and Saul you're completely fine you do a frog jump jump up and just get out of the way of all these all this debris everybody else takes 16 damage and is knocked prone. So you guys, there's just this rock slide that knocks you all over.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Kenna takes it as well, but she's kind of like near Gawain. I'll say she kind of grabs Gawain and rolls over to the side and tries to keep him safe. I'm gonna use Stone's Endurance and shake off all of the damage. Right on. Okay, so you make your skin hard as a rock and you see ping, ping, ping, ping, a bunch of these pebbles and rocks and boulders break off as they hit calder
Starting point is 00:18:30 Calder you rise out of the debris here, or you don't rise because you're prone So you rise out of the debris and then kind of twist your ankle and fall forward oh sh*t I see out here So you guys are covered in a bunch of debris as the mountain around you has now become difficult terrain. The smooth mountain pass that wrapped around the mountain here is now uneven with large fissures, rock piles, and mounds of snow. Saul, I think this is not gonna affect you at all.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Doesn't honeysuckle ignore? And honeysuckle does ignore it. And honeysuckle is there. Rum, rum, rum. Honeysuckle immediately just starts burrowing through the snow here. That's right, baby. You're in your element.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Rumble, rumble, rumble. As the world shakes, there is a low, rising rumble from deep in the earth, and suddenly there is a crack in the ice of the giant lake down in the village. There's a sort of moment of silence, and then a long, cracking sound from the thick ice, and finally chaos as the ice shatters and the mothership submersible emerges from underneath it. You see this gargantuan vehicle rising, glowing with lights of magitech, giant chunks of ice fall off of it, and Alexandrite goes, When I thought you could be useful, I saw no benefit in eliminating you.
Starting point is 00:19:51 But the circ*mstances have changed. I see now that you are obstacles. She opens her hand and spreads her palms, and you see hundreds of these mothership employees, these Alexandrite zombies begin pouring out of the hovering sub, crashing into the snow and rushing towards the town. You had alerted the Rangers to the danger down there. You see flares go up in the sky as frost giants begin clashing with the zombies. Everybody go ahead and give me perception checks. Oh, eight.
Starting point is 00:20:28 14. Perception? 18. 18, okay. Saul, you clock from here, you sort of take on like a meditative mind and really focus up on what's happening down there. And you do see that the forces of the ice knife, they're
Starting point is 00:20:46 in a big, big trouble. But you notice that the people that are jumping out of the ship are like Alexandrite zombies, not avatars of Alexandrite. So they've got that like wired look of like the gray skinned mothership employees that you find after you defeat an avatar of Alexandrite. So it seems like she still has the power to command them, but not like to zip her power into different beings or whatnot. So it looks like these are run-of-the-mill zombies. Spreading yourself a little thin, aren't you? Only as thin as the ice in this inferior village.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Ha ha ha. Damn, did you download a jokebook or something? I shattered your town. Right. After the lair action, Calder, that is your turn. Calder, you see fires start going up in town. The ice knife right now looks f*cked. You see houses start to go down like almost right away.
Starting point is 00:21:44 I point to Gowen's body and I say, My brother trained those fighters down there. And they can hold your army off. And he trained me too. And I walk forward. I guess I go to Callie. I think this is yours. She looks at you, you know what a sword is still.
Starting point is 00:22:04 You know the context of the situation. You mean the mean toothpicks? How much of your brain got fried? Did she scramble you too? It doesn't feel good. I forgot what zippers were for a second. Oh, you mean shirts, Tief. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Callie, I already have a sword, and this one looks good on you, but I'll borrow it for a second. It's you and see if I can hold her up for us I trade swords with Cali. I give you shard And I'll take I'll take three attacks on Alexandrite with the ice knife Right. Yeah, you see she was being very cold and calculated with. As you start to run towards her with the ice knife, she starts to try to back up and like teleport away, but you're too fast. You catch her a little bit flat-footed.
Starting point is 00:22:52 She's had to expand a lot of energy to raise this sub. You are on thin ice and it's about to break. That's two 23s and an 18 to hit. The two 23s hit, the 18 does not. So you hit her twice you see she's able to gather herself and then she predicts your movement and moves perfectly okay I'm gonna action surge and see if I can hit her with another three wow right on that is a 27 hits a nat one and another 18 so I hit her four
Starting point is 00:23:20 times okay right on yeah so after you miss her that one time you do like a very heavy Unpredictable attack where you begin to swing the ice knife around and then you use all of your body to do kind of like A whirlwind that ends up not working the second time you go around with the nat one and she's able to easily hop over It and then she blocks the last one that sort of makes blades Come out of her arm at like her forearms and holds them there But she reacts to havoc like somebody reacting to fire. You see the sort of tendrils licking out at her.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Ah, that's 68 damage. Wow. Woo. And maybe I should have done this before, but staring in her eyes, I took a feat as I leveled up. I'm fey touched because of my connection, my proximity to the fey wild. And after our interaction with Oberon, I have taken Hunter's Mark. So maybe I should have done this before, but I feel like getting close up, getting a sniff of her,
Starting point is 00:24:17 now I'm going to as a bonus action cast Hunter's Mark on her. Hell yes. Yeah, Calder, you see in her eyes as you stab into her with the ice knife, there is real pain there. She fights with a cold calculating style, but she's gathered just enough information from humans to know pain and you see she is feeling it in this moment and you see fear and when the ice knife hits her, she gets a face like a trapped animal and then charges begin going through her body. She has to roll four times to see if she overcharges and shifts forms.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Ooh. Oh wow. Okay, on one of those, she overcharged. Calder, go ahead and roll a D4 to see if she shifts. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What am I hoping for? The lower the number you get, the bigger she gets, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's easier. They're all just different.
Starting point is 00:25:13 It's the same HP pool, I will say. Okay, I got a two. All right, as havoc goes into her, she reacts and pushes it back, and then sort of wills another gathering of power in her trying to reject the havoc. And you see as her body charges up, she begins to expand and she looks over and she sees Gawain in the snow and she goes, if this being helped optimize your fighting style, Perhaps I could learn a few things from him
Starting point is 00:25:49 And you see she begins Rapidly kind of changing forms as she goes through like all of the data in her head See she looks down at Gawain and as she does her face begins taking on like more Frost giant features she begins to expand and you see this weird sick copy of Gawain appear in her face as she grows frost giant sized but then also grows a strange scorpion lower half with a giant tail that points out at you and she goes how does it feel looking into the face of your brother? I was planning on saying you'll never be a real giant,
Starting point is 00:26:31 but with the scorpion tail, I don't know if you want it to be. Is this incorrect? You see she's overloading and charging and rewinding and repeating herself. I mean, it's not even close, but it's impressive. It is kinda scary. Yeah, I'd say don't lose the tail. So she is a giant scorpion frost giant right now.
Starting point is 00:26:51 It does seem like she got a little bit mixed up with the virus. She downloaded the Scorpion King. We have every DVD in the mothership library. After Calder's turn, that's Callie's turn. Okay, so I can't cast spells, but are like Divine Smites, are they spells? Divine Smites are not spells. Okay. So I'm Sid in the game. I'm gonna get unhoney suckles back. See your honeysuckle looks kind of nervous at the giant scorpion. And I'm gonna be like, you're using your dash action so that I can try to get some swipes on this scorpion. Honeysuckle
Starting point is 00:27:35 shoots forward and begins riding through the snow, hops in and out, is just completely immune. I also am gonna stow shard so that it's out of sight. Right on, yeah, you hold it, you put it on a hilt on your back. Oh, I will also say, Calder, at the end of your turn, you hear a voice go, shh! As Licorice flies out from the cave now that havoc is gone,
Starting point is 00:28:02 Licorice has been freed and swims in through the snow right at your feet, Calder. I'm so sorry. And kind of side-eyes you. Yeah, you're a good serpent. You're a good serpent. Yes. As Licorice sees the sort of scorpion tail go up to get ready to strike down onto you, you see that Licorice gets up into sort of cobra fighting stance and gets ready to fight as well. Kali, you go in for the attack on Honeysuckle's back. Yeah, okay. First attack is a 16 to hit.
Starting point is 00:28:35 16 does not hit. You see the tail shoots out super fast and blocks, just like your brother used to do during training, I'm sure. Second attack is a 30. A 30 super hits as she looks at, called her expectantly. Callie, you get in there with your sword, starfire explodes. You're doing that on your own. You should own it. That's kind of crazy. Offhand, 24.
Starting point is 00:29:00 24 also hits. Yeah, you get up under her carapace. Hell yeah. My research said your brother is a giant scorpion. Look at him, he's right there. Again, it's the scorpion king. She starts glitching out. It's my other twin who loves the scorpion king. That has to be it.
Starting point is 00:29:16 His other twin, yeah. Gregor f*cking loves the scorpion king. Undebatable. Eight on my flourish. Wow. So my AC is now 27. Jesus. Okay, so I'll say that Calli goes in, swings and hits with the Luck Blade.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Explosion of Starfire. You see Alexandrite reacts and kind of backs up. Calli then pulls out Shard as like her parrying sword and is basically able to like hide behind it. 76 damage. Oh my God. Ow, ow, ow. You made me feel really confused and I've forgotten how to do some of my favorite spells. You see that, yeah, a bunch of like ectoplasm
Starting point is 00:29:59 explodes from her sides. You see her wound looks to be getting worse and she has not been able to heal up. You see she occasionally will take on like a glowing white visage and try to like heal herself and it is just not coming together. And I think since Honeysuckle still has movement, can I basically go get in the way of Gawain
Starting point is 00:30:21 so that she doesn't have line of sight on Gawain? Yeah, Honeysuckle goes over, barrels through the snow and sort of covers Gawain with that she doesn't have line of sight on Gawain. Oh yeah, yeah, Honeysuckle goes over, uh, barrows through the snow and sort of covers Gawain with his rocky carapace. Cool. After Kaliope's turn- Oh, do I get to do a thing to try to- Oh yes, go ahead and try to get your spells back.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Oh yeah. Sixteen. Sixteen does not do it. Kali, you still feel the static in your brain. God, I need a f*cking coffee or something. Gawain, do you have a coffee? Gawain is just laying there. If Saul didn't have a connection to life,
Starting point is 00:30:50 you would just think Gawain was dead. I can't believe I'm gonna base myself, but do you have like an energy drink? You're talking to his feet, Callie. After Calliope's turn, Alexandrite is going to burn two legendary actions and use a tail attack. So you do see that the giant tail flies down and is going to snap out at Kali.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Let me go ahead and make an attack roll. Oh my God, I forgot you have a 28. Well, I already have a 27. 27, 27. Just a 27. I already made my decision. I have a plus 14 to hit here, so if I get a 13 or higher, I will hit you and that is a natural one. So you see
Starting point is 00:31:29 Flies forward just goes into the snow sort of Unceremoniously dinks off of shard as you use it as a parrying blade. CG's just really bad Oh, I didn't add my eight. Sorry. So I didn't do 76 damage. I did 84 damage Okay, you see just an extra spring shoots out from her shoulder. Ow! Yeah, sorry, the flourish is sometimes delayed. You tore my mechanical rotator cuff. Next in the initiative is Kenna.
Starting point is 00:32:01 Yeah. Is anybody hurt? Kenna goes, is anyone injured? I definitely am. Who requires a squire? I require the squire. Yeah. Is anybody hurt? Kenna goes, is anyone injured? I definitely am. Who requires a Squire? I require the Squire. Okay. Callie.
Starting point is 00:32:10 She runs over and is going to give a full potion to you. So we'll do an action potion. That's 20 HP. Yeah. So she shoves a potion in your mouth and she's going to bonus action Squire inspiration Calder because he's got the ice knife right now. Oh, right. Thanks, Kena.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Just so you know, Mr. Kilday, your brother is not a giant scorpion. She's trying to trick you. Oh, she's so f*cked up that she would go there. You get a d4 for the round as if you have Bless, and that is the end of her turn. After Kennes' turn, that is end of the round. That is the battle for the village. So the army of Alexandrite is going to face off with the Rangers of the Frigid North. You hear the clanging of steel echo in the distance as the warriors engage, but there
Starting point is 00:33:03 are hundreds of zombies that just appeared out of nowhere, smoke and fires begin going up, and you already see some of the lakeside houses have been destroyed. Possibly even Boris Friggs, possibly. Not Boris's. We're going to do a contested roll. The zombies have a huge advantage right now, but things might change in later rounds. You guys are going to add plus two to this. I'm going to add plus ten and roll with advantage.
Starting point is 00:33:28 However much the zombies win by, that's what percentage of the village is destroyed. Depending on how much of it's destroyed, that's when we'll start rolling to see if people like Gregor might have been killed. People like Mira or Ur. Jesus. So, who wants to roll for the warriors of the frigid north? I want to they're my people No I wrote the net one. No
Starting point is 00:33:57 That is a three oh I roll with advantage Wow That sucks. Oh, no, I rolled in at 20 Why do why why did we do this? Oh, no, that is 30 on my end and three on your end. Oh so Fully more than a quarter of the village has been destroyed Oh you guys watch and Unfortunately, it looks like there were not enough Rangers around the lake and you guys see just a ring of fire going around the town square
Starting point is 00:34:38 They're starting to get into like the residential district. They're going like beyond the Warriors You do hear horns going up and see signal fires and stuff Rangers from the towers are rushing down on the backs of like giant dire goats and stuff trying to get there in time but they have placed themselves right in the middle of the town and things are already terrible you're at risk of the entire town being wiped out at the top of the round Saul that is your turn. I look down at the devastation in the town and I turn to Alexandrite and I say, it has to end here. All you do is take
Starting point is 00:35:16 and take. You say this is your network. It's just control. Just say what it is. This is progress, Saul. The village was safe until you impeded my plan. These are the consequences of your actions. You will be eliminated. It's not over yet. You're not the only one riding Destiny today. And what I want to do is pull out the flare gun I have. Okay. And try and just get a signal to the town to let them know we're fighting.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Okay. Let them know that we're up here fighting as well. Right on. I will let you do this as a minor action. Ooh. Go ahead and as you shoot the flare up, give me a perception check. Okay. 16. Saul. You see
Starting point is 00:36:09 flares going up from everywhere. You see signal fires that the people of the village are getting together to fight here. And you go to shoot off a flare to say that, hey, we're part of this fight as well. And as you do, you see this explosion of light, but you also see a brief shadow go past you. It almost is like an eclipse where it's like you've got all this light coming down from this flare, but then something passes it and you see a giant flying through the sky towards the rift, looking like they're preparing to do something on a lower initiative. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:36:49 Yeah, I'm gonna say that I shot that kind of like directly over the nose of Alexandrite as kind of a faint, and then I'm going to backstep towards Callie, and then I'm going to use enough ki to restore her highest spell slot that she lost from smiting. Whoa. Oh, so you're giving she lost from smiting. Whoa. Sit.
Starting point is 00:37:06 Whoa, so you're giving me a fourth level back? Yeah. Thank you, thank you. Snap out of it, Callie. Okay, yeah, I need to get together. You know what I'll say, with this rush of Ki going into you, go ahead and give me an intelligence saving throw with advantage. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:19 This is a huge help. 16 and a 14. Okay, you still, you know how to smite? God damn, do you know how to smite god damn do you know how to smite Wow I don't know spells but I know that you're amazing rest of the vegetation that's an easy way to do that you know you know this guy though right yeah yeah hold her what I point at Saul just baseball we're getting there the giant scorpion woman goes that's not how the effect works. I can't explain this.
Starting point is 00:37:47 I'm really bad with names and it's finally f*cking coming out. Wait, my records say you're very good friends. They also said my brother was a scorpion, so check him again. It's wrong, but I'm flattered. Okay, so also that'll be an action to give her back a spell slot,
Starting point is 00:38:02 but that's no joke, that's like five, 68s of damage. Sick. Five D8. And then I'll use a bonus action to cast patient defense on myself. And I'll just kind of like jump around Daffy Duck style in front of her. We have this on DVD as well.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Don't use it. You think I don't know what Daffy Duck dodge when I see one. We must secure that library. After Saul's turn, she'll take a legendary action, tries to swipe at Saul. That is a 25 on the lower one. Oh, OK. So even with the defensive move, you're hit.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Yeah. OK. Saul, you take 22 damage. All right. As you are spiked into into the snow still trying to dodge back and forth You guys see the fires of the village going up in the background. I'm going to Rebuke the violent is our reaction. Oh, yeah, you can still use your skills. Yeah Okay, so as a reaction, I'm gonna be like you don't do that to f*cking colder Wisdom save or she takes 22 something to me radiant she gets a 21 that saves okay she takes 11 damage while
Starting point is 00:39:12 we're on the reaction train I'll go ahead and hellish rebuke as well right on she passes she has very high mental save us that's 10 damage 10 fire damage okay then that's already half so she save. So that's 10 damage. 10 fire damage. Okay, and that's already halved so she reacts this giant scorpion version of her reacts as she's hit by this fire after Saul's turn that is Alexandrite's turn proper she is going to make two claw attacks she's got basically all of you guys within reach so she's going to take one claw attack at Callie. That is only a 17 to hit, only rolled a three.
Starting point is 00:39:48 My AC is 27 right now. I mean, pinks off of shards that you're just hiding behind like a full wall. Sorry, what were you reaching for? I'm just teaching you a classic parry like Gawain did during the training. I'm doing mental games with him Saul Bufo looks like Calder
Starting point is 00:40:10 Yes What she's saying is starting to make sense. I understand that I am malfunctioning But I am quickly getting back all of my information Looks like me Calder ribbits. It's gonna take a crack at Saul f*cking 34 on the first roll. Oh god, and a 32 on the second roll. So he's definitely going to hit you. So as she just pinks off and misses Callie,
Starting point is 00:40:34 because she just like strikes Shard, swings around and hits you, Saul, for 23 damage. Okay. After the two claw attacks, she's going to swing down with her tail at Calder. Jesus Christ, that's a natural 20. You guys see it goes directly into Calder's chest. Calder, give me a Constitution saving throw. 24.
Starting point is 00:41:01 That is very good that you rolled that high, because that is, with the crit, 35 piercing damage. Calder, this would have been 82 damage if you failed on the poison. Instead it's going to be 41 damage. Okay, that's amazing. 82 damage literally would have brought me down by one. So I'm up. Okay, wow. Okay, so you guys see this tail spikes into Calder's chest
Starting point is 00:41:30 and she injects him with a crazy amount of like psychic poison. Calder, you feel yourself like lose control of your body. You feel your brain get this like heavy fog and you feel Alexandrite starting to like look with your eyes as she's trying to like essentially consume you and your thoughts and your power. But you shake out of it and are able to pull back and survive this wild attack. But you see you have this grievous wound in your chest. Oh damn I'm leaking goo too. After Alexandrite's turn that is another layer action.
Starting point is 00:42:09 You see, Alexandrite reaches out towards the mothership sub and telekinetically pulls a metal chunk off of it that comes flying towards her. As it reaches her, like, scorpion feet, she jumps on it. Just basically has, like, a giant metal, like, hover it just basically has like a giant metal like hoverboard for herself like a giant disk she begins rising away from the nearby rocks and boulders as once again she pulls at the mountain's core with telekinetic force to cause an earthquake everybody go ahead and give me deck
Starting point is 00:42:40 saving throws. 19! Okay Callie you just passed. It's just a 10. I got a nat 1. Wow, brutal. Calder and Saul, you guys take 24 damage.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Oh f*cking hell. And are buried in the snow. So Cali, you look around you as the dust settles. You see there are huge fissures around the mountain now. She has risen up so that she wouldn't be affected by this as she kind of hovers over the mountain here. But you see huge parts of the mountain have collapsed and Calder, Kenna, and Saul have all disappeared. You don't see them. According to my calculations,
Starting point is 00:43:28 your chances of survival have just decreased significantly. Okay, I actually just heard my chances speaking. So that was good. Saul, you down there? She begins indiscriminately shooting laser beams at her eyes with the snow. Where did you hear that? Where was that coming from? 20 circle, 20 circle! Okay Calder that is your turn after the lair action. Okay, so
Starting point is 00:43:54 It's a DC 20 strength check to crawl your way out. All right. I also have Misty step Could I use that? Yes, you are not buried 30 feet down, so you can hop back up. Okay, then I'm going to Frosty Step, turn into a bunch of mist, and rematerialize above the rubble. Callie, you see Calder appears next to you above the snow. I'm Calder. Calder. Yeah, I'm starting to remember. I think I'm shaking the fog from my head. All right, let's get her. Calder, that's just a bonus action.
Starting point is 00:44:30 So you may continue to act. Actually, as Calder emerges, I kind of want to be like, do you want me to go start mowing down zombies? Calder looks down and I think he's like bleeding and dazed and he sees this town being overrun. And he almost like instinctively just drifts to go there. And he hears Callie say that and... Callie, it's...
Starting point is 00:44:56 I want to help them too. But... It's just gonna be my town, then the next town, then the next town. We have to stand and fight. Er, we have to stay here. Okay. As you say that, Calder, you guys hear a little voice on the wind go, Aha! Greetings, fine Peregrin. I think there might be a way for us to have our cake and eat it too.
Starting point is 00:45:28 Good, cause I'm f*cking hungry. I'm starving. Did you stop for cake? No, it takes a while to fly up super high, communicating to you on the wind. Okay, what's the game plan? I can lend you a hand, but I'll need this gate open if you wouldn't mind. The rules of physics in your world are quite limited. I need a bit of fey magic. And you see what Saul had seen before, this figure flying through the air.
Starting point is 00:46:02 You do see a cloud giant shape up by the rift. Uh, Garrosh. Mmm, bit of fey magic. You can make it rain on all the fire. Oh. Um, so, Calder, that is the rest of your turn. I will say this. There is a risk to opening the gate with Alexandrite this close, but it doesn't seem like she will have enough movement
Starting point is 00:46:25 provided that she keeps getting hit with Havoc. I will tell you that you have the components to open the gate if you would like. Yeah, I position my back so he sees Shard. Yeah, you've got Shard and the Ice Knife in order to do that. In order to open the gate, it starts as a DC 25 Arcana check, but the DC goes down by three each time you get a 15 or better. It'll go down by five if you get a 20 or better. So you might have to game it with bardic inspirations and things like that. But anytime you do a pretty good job, it becomes easier the next time. Okay. And anyone can do this. It doesn't just have to be Calder, but you are the one that you have the components right now. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:07 Yeah, I'm standing here beside Callie and I'm just gonna nod at you and say, the one thing she doesn't know how to do is the one thing we do know how to do. Take a leap of faith, trust each other, and take a chance. And I'm gonna run at her and attack twice. Two 24s. Both hit. Nice.
Starting point is 00:47:28 Can I use Ultris' helm to add to D12s? Yeah. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you see, yeah, glowing muscles as Calder takes on the form of like a greater frost giant. You see, he gets enormous as he swings. The spirit of all of the Frost Giants here in the Frigid North swinging with him.
Starting point is 00:47:48 57 damage. Wow! Nice. Calder, you get in there with the Ice Knife. You see she starts to shrink back and kind of hiss at you, again taking on this sort of like animalistic reaction to seeing havoc. You swing into her twice. It wounds her again for the full round. She once again cannot escape this round. All right, Calli, the Feywild's knocking. Yeah, better answer. And then I turn with the third attack and I combine the Iceknife with Shard. Right on. And I had kind
Starting point is 00:48:19 of forgotten the battlefield, but Licorice acts on your turn anyway and Licorice can fly. So I'll say literally as you go up to Kali, who's sort of clinging to the side of the mountain here, you climb out of this snow after you've just been covered by this avalanche. You guys share this moment, make this decision together. Licorice whips out of the snow, gets under you, you fly up and meet her, attack her twice, back up and start flying up towards the rift, you cross both swords and attempt to cast a spell through it, you see the glowing green rift begins to shimmer, go ahead and give me an arcana check.
Starting point is 00:48:57 22. Okay, it goes down by 5, so the DC is now 20 to completely open it. So you see green light begins cascading down onto the mountain here. You see green everywhere and Garrosh goes, good show, very good. Just a little bit more there Peregrin, ah. As you hold these two swords atop,
Starting point is 00:49:20 Licorice, after your turn, Alexandrite has to roll twice to see if she overcharges and changes. That is a nat one, she changes. Go ahead and roll me a d4. That's a one. A one. You see the scorpion-like carapace at the bottom
Starting point is 00:49:42 of her body begins growing as havoc flows through her and she begins to lose control. You see the faces of the hundreds of the thousands of people and data she has gathered. You see all of these faces growing with her as she expands to become a giant gargantuan monster. You see she straight up flattens this hoverboard thing that she was flying on and just becomes part of the mountain as just a giant gooey mess of faces and wires. Oh no.
Starting point is 00:50:19 Calder, what have you done? I, where did you learn this one, Alexandra? I haven't seen this movie. What movie is this from? A number of them. Akira. After Calder's turn, she is going to lash out at... I'll say she's going to take a crack at Licorice as you're up in the sky here. Oh, what have I done?
Starting point is 00:50:44 That is a 19 to hit Licorice. I have a question. Yeah Can my mounted combatant come in to play here? I will say if you were on licorice it would That is going to be 20 damage to licorice. Okay licorice has 45 HP. So you do see this hurts him quite a bit. He reacts as Starfire explodes out of him, kind of undoing the magic that he's made out of.
Starting point is 00:51:15 Calder, you are rattled and almost thrown from the saddle here as you're flying in the air. Now you're taking it too far. After the legendary action, that is Kaliope's turn. Can we get to Alexandrite you can get to Alexandrite with the help of Honeysuckle who can essentially climb the mountains. All right, we're doing precisely that You see honeysuckle bursts out and you see he's carrying Gowan with him So brings Gowan up places Gowan like on on the side of the mountain here so that he's not buried in the snow.
Starting point is 00:51:47 Calder, you just watch as you're flying high in the sky, battling this giant monster. Callie begins just riding vertically up the mountain with Honeysuckle. She has a ski lift. I have a load. And I'm taking out my luck plane and let's f*cking do this. First attack is a 26 to hit. 26 of course hits. Second attack is a 22 to hit.
Starting point is 00:52:13 Both hit. Offhand is a nat 20! Yes! Yes bitch! Yes, Callie, I'll say that you and Honeysuckle are just a perfect tandem here. You fly up the cliff face with incredible speed and then honeysuckle launches at the last second and you torpedo at her and actually swing through her and land on another side of the mountain as honeysuckle grips the rocks here. May not use magic but that was magical. I'm doing three fourth level Smites.
Starting point is 00:52:45 I'm burning a fifth level spell slot. But I know that 5d8 is the total because I only have two left. One of them, thanks to Sol. And now let me roll. That's 134 damage. Oh no! And my AC is, because I rolled a six on my bardic,
Starting point is 00:53:05 so my AC is 25. Absolutely wild. Kali goes directly through this enormous, amorphous form of Alexandrite, and as she lets out this explosive starfire energy, riding Honeysuckle like a rocket, you see she reforms reforms and there's literally just less matter left.
Starting point is 00:53:29 She just gets a little bit smaller from that hit. And you hear a thousand cries and screams going out from her at once. As there's all this mechanical malfunctioning and overcharging. I think you need a system update. After you say that deep in the snow, I'm just thinking of quips. What was that? That's what I'm gonna say when I get out.
Starting point is 00:53:56 After Callie's turn, she's going to burn two legendary actions and attempt to consume Calliope. You see wires shoot out and like wrap around Calliope and she begins to drag her towards this giant amorphous network of trapped people. I realize I didn't try to kick the fact that I can't cast spells. Oh yeah yeah go ahead and make an intelligence heavy throw. Nat 20! Yes! Nice! Okay. Along with that crit.
Starting point is 00:54:27 f*cking hell. Oh my god. f*ck yeah. Callie, you look up and you see the shimmering power of the Feywild and it almost looks like the stars above take on kind of a purple like Fey twilight. You see the night sky starts to change and you're reminded of your
Starting point is 00:54:45 childhood magic and all of the power rushes back to you. I didn't realize how much I f*cking miss home. But as you say that Kaliope the wires wrap around you and she attempts to pull you in to consume you as she has these other people so I'm gonna go ahead and roll she's got a plus 14 to this to hit nine that is 23 to hit. Mrs. Insane turn from Callie so I'll say like I didn't even have to use my reaction to defensive duelist. Callie no sweat dodges this as she as she lands and swings through as she's going to like sheath her blade cuts through the cables that we're trying to drag her in.
Starting point is 00:55:27 You could learn a thing or two from her. What, like it's hard? I agree. I will consume her. You can try. After that legendary action, Kenna is going to try to get out from the snow. Kenna's had a rough go of it. She actually has good athletics, so she might be able to get out from the snow. Kenna's had a rough go of it. She actually has good athletics, so she might be able to get out here.
Starting point is 00:55:48 Digging up from holes is like an iron deep sport. Shout outs to the two crew. She stays buried, but since we allowed it as a free action, I'll allow her to do it again as an actual action. So she's burning up some of her action economy here. That passes. So you see Kenna sort of bruised and battered.
Starting point is 00:56:07 She does not have as much HP as you guys and these lair actions and earthquakes and avalanches have f*cked her right up. You just hear heavy panting as she climbs up through the snow. Sorry, did anybody get hurt? Is everybody okay? She looks up and just sees this giant bulbous monster
Starting point is 00:56:24 and you guys flying through the air I am really hurt by the way see she's too she can't navigate where you guys are at right now so she's just going to shout up to you Calder and go I'm not entirely sure of the context, it looks like the battlefield has changed a lot, Mr. Kilday, but I have faith in you! This whole village has faith in you! That's why they call you Giant Heart! That lands. And she's gonna hit you with another Squire Inspiration.
Starting point is 00:57:03 Yeah! Thank you. And she's gonna hit you with another Squire inspiration. Yeah, thank you after Kenna's turn no more legendaries this round, but an initiative ten it is garage's turn Hey, garage is up there holding an action ready to do something when the gate is open looks like he's preparing some kind of great spell After that we are back to the fight for the town Here's the deal though that last time they got an advantage, they're not going to get advantage anymore because they're out of their surprise round of the battle, so they've taken
Starting point is 00:57:33 a significant portion of the town. You see frost giants retreating, but then they're gathering up and they have carved out barriers and things like that and are fighting back against the zombies. It's still plus two versus plus ten, so bad news right now, but will not be as bad as last time, hopefully. Calder, go ahead and give me a roll. Okay. That's a nat 20. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E Oh my god! Home town boy makes good. When the tides turn, they turn baby! Okay, that's a 24 from
Starting point is 00:58:10 the zombies, but I will say with a nat 20, this round is a stalemate. So you see as the zombies start to invade, start to go towards like residential districts and stuff, you see giant forms coming down from the mountains, frost giants on mammoths
Starting point is 00:58:27 coming from the towers, begin clashing with the zombies and just wrecking them like five at a time. There are so many more zombies than there are giants, but they are like flicking them away as they pound at them with great clubs. They are holding their ground for now. We don't lose at all. After the battle, the end of the of the round saw that is your turn saw you find yourself deep in the snow It needs it. It's a DC 20 athletics check to get out
Starting point is 00:58:54 Would you let me lower that if I use step of the wind to double my jump? Yes, you know what? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So your particular abilities I do think lend to getting out So I actually I'll tell you what if you step of the wind we can change this to an acrobatics check Oh athletics sick. All right, great. Yeah, I like prepare to corkscrew out. Yeah, I'll say I mean you have like magic monk ability So you're able to jump even though you don't have very much footing I charge my quads and I prepare to leap. Great, yeah. You basically like magically prepare like a landing
Starting point is 00:59:29 for you to get leverage off of, for you to jump up. Acrobatics is plus nine. Damn it, that's an 18. Oh! You surge up. You'll have to use an action now to try to get out, but I'll let you roll with advantage on this one. Here we go, rolling again. With my ac acrobatics that is just a 20 that's it okay you
Starting point is 00:59:50 perfectly make it out you see right next to Kenna Saul pops out they're both just so tired arm on her shoulder and I'll hunt you you're good things you know things have gotten really weird in the past couple minutes. She is just like mostly goo now, huh? She's mostly goo. The gate's mostly open. They're... yeah. It's really tiring getting out of the snow. Just... you know what? You heal yourself. You need that. You need it here. Hey.
Starting point is 01:00:19 I just kind of slap her in the cheek. Yeah, yeah, you too. She slaps you. Alright, yeah. That's my turn. Okay, do you have any bonus actions or anything? My bonus action was Step of the cheek. Yeah, you too. She slaps you. Ah. All right, yeah, that's my turn. Okay, do you have any bonus actions or anything? My bonus action was Step of the Wind. Okay. But I have my reaction back, so I'm gonna be ready to silvery barbs if you'd be.
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Starting point is 01:02:43 slash pawpaw50 and use the code pawpaw50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. That's code PawPaw50 at FactorMeals.com slash PawPaw50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Thank you, everybody. while your subscription is active. Thank you, everybody. to do there is no f*cking lair but that is her actual turn she is the layer so she is going to swing out and make a claw attack at both of the mounts as you guys are kind of like circling her one coming off of like the cliff face honeysuckle and licorice is flying so first we'll go after honeysuckle 23 to hit honeysuckle I'm gonna mounted combatant, force it to target me instead. Okay, and this is cool.
Starting point is 01:03:46 And that misses because of my part of defense. Callie, you're riding up, you pull out your sword and you just slash and cut through the gooey tendril. You stay away from my f*cking baby. Nom nom nom. Then next one goes after Licorice. You stay away from my f*cking baby. Looks up at you hopefully calder natural one
Starting point is 01:04:08 this is licorice yes wow that's like the only way i could have missed licorice okay amazing with the last action though is going to attempt to calder's holding havoc so she doesn't want to consume calder Calder's holding Havoc so she doesn't want to consume Calder. Is gonna try again to consume Kali Okay, have to take a calculated risk here. Cali-Q-ated. A Cali-Q-ated risk here Okay, so she has plus 14 hit on this 30 to hit With my defensive duelist I can only get up to 29. Okay. Silvery Bar!
Starting point is 01:04:46 Yes! Silvery Bar! Get out of the snow just in time! Brace me! Brace me, Kenna! Kenna and Saul hold onto each other. Saul, you reach your hands up, you use like your connection to, you know, fungi and stuff around here and like pull from the mountain and you see the mountain actually begins to shift and
Starting point is 01:05:10 she has to swing around a different way to hit Callie with a tendril. And that's only a 22. Yeah! I'm sorry, did you not consider when you were calculating your risk, did you not consider frog magic? I thought that was a myth oh no there is frog magic she begins to short-circuit searching frog magic frog magic yeah you see she begins to overload as she tries to contemplate the
Starting point is 01:05:40 idea of frog magic that is the end of her turn. And then Calder, that is your turn. You're on top of licorice here. All right. Callie, do you want to open this gate or no? I want to watch you do it. I can't do it without you. And I'll take three swings to open this gate.
Starting point is 01:05:59 Okay. All right. Go ahead and give me the first one. Maybe you'll get it on number one. That is a 22. Calder. You hold both swords up. You feel your attachment to your friends,
Starting point is 01:06:18 your attachment to the Feywild surging through you as you hold the ice knife. You feel the love of your mother and your family coming through. Shard, you see the ice knife lights up and the Sylvan runes. You innately understand them in this moment even though you don't read Sylvan. Break down and then Shard begins to glow. The Sylvan runes, the gate break down the gate. You see Calder's eyes glow green and he begins speaking in Sylvan as he says, break down the gate. And you see the rift in the sky cracks open in a burst of light. There is a great parting of shimmering
Starting point is 01:07:01 green energy. After a bright flash that lights up the night like an exploding sunrise, your eyes settle and you can see a shimmering reflection of Callie's home world, the Feywild, above you. The image is warped almost as if you're looking at something through a glass bottle, but you can just make out the lush greenery and overgrowth.
Starting point is 01:07:26 A world of tangible magic. Flowers seem to glow in the purple light of the Fae Twilight. And as the new world opens, Garrosh begins siphoning energy from it by breathing it in. You see he had prepared a reaction. Air begins to warp around him like he is in the eye of a storm. You guys feel yourselves thrown back and forth with the power of the wind, like almost like you're gonna get thrown off of this mountain. But then you are settled in place, pushed as much as you are pulled, hovering there, cradled by a master of the sky manipulating the weather in perfect pockets. Finally, he releases a swirling ball of air that explodes and then begins sucking all of the wind around it, creating a godly gust.
Starting point is 01:08:18 And in that great burst of air, you see help arrives. Sails, riding, a great north wind, half a dozen airships, some from the Frostwind Army and others from Esri and Mob Goblin. The flying machines rocket through the sky until they land directly over the village, effectively fast traveling halfway across the continent. As the winds calm and the ships halt to a stop. You hear the crews screaming in terror, followed by a confused silence, followed by rallying cries as they jump into action
Starting point is 01:08:54 to help the village against the zombies. You see goblins with mini guns begin firing charged bolts from the decks at the invaders. Frost dwarves begin rappelling out of their ship while others begin firing down with crossbows. A moment later, you see the frozen fist and their dog sleds fly in on a tornado. Aaaaaaah!
Starting point is 01:09:16 Then settle in and begin charging in to help with the attack. This will bump up your ally significantly in the end of the round melee. The village now has a fighting chance. They were able to use their own resources to fight to a stalemate. It looks like they were able to protect like the residential area, but now they've got backup coming in from the sky. As you see, they start firing at the submersible submersible starts firing back at those guys Calder that was just one action baby you got you got to damn I look into the Feywild and I asked Kelly damn why did you ever leave I
Starting point is 01:09:58 think I needed to leave to be worthy of it let Let's go home. And I'm gonna turn and take two more swings at Alexandrite. That is a 24 and a dirty 20 to hit. Both hit. I will use the Helm of Ultras one more time as well. Okay, you see, especially with this Bay magic opened up, Calder takes on the look of like a primordial frost giant almost made of ice as he swings through her I am the little one
Starting point is 01:10:29 Should have f*cked with me Smulder kill day. I heard you are called Unlearn that unlearn that right now. Just your timing is awful It's no Cali, but that is a 66. She's It's no Kali but that is a 66. Jesus. Yeah. Okay. She looks like she is on Death's Door.
Starting point is 01:10:47 You see, as you break through it, you do like what Kali did and you literally just remove matter from her body. You're cutting away as you see basically bodies from within her like reaching out to attack you and you were just like cutting them free and you see it sort of evaporates as it breaks away from her. Her mass begins decreasing and decreasing attack you and you are just like cutting them free and you see it sort of evaporates as
Starting point is 01:11:05 it breaks away from her. Her mass begins decreasing and decreasing and you hear screams in a million different voices as she recoils from havoc. She needs to roll to see if she changes into something else. She does not. She stays as the giant monster version of her. Okay. After Calder's turn, she's going to take a legendary action. Once again, just try to swipe at Licorice, knock Calder out of the sky. That is 29 hit Licorice. Yeah. And is there a, I can't, I
Starting point is 01:11:38 can't do anything like mounted combat and I don't have that feat. You don't have mounted combat and shields not going to do anything. 31 damage. You guys see Licorice is struck by a tendril, exploding out from her, snaps through him, he looks up and bursts into starfire magic. Calder, you just had this epic moment, but you are now free falling into the sky. I reach my hand into the sky and I cast Feather Fall.
Starting point is 01:12:06 Oh, I really needed that. Wow. I know you are low on hit points. Calder. I'm very low. I didn't have to use my defensive duelist. Calder, what are you thinking in this moment as you wonder if it might be all over for you
Starting point is 01:12:20 because you're looking over at your village, you do see that there's hope for it. You do see that you've opened up the gate, Alexandrite looks very hurt, but you're about to fall off the side of this mountain when you're greatly injured, your mount has disappeared out from under you, and you begin just free-falling backwards. I think Calder never wanted to be a hero, he just didn't want to be protected, he didn't want to be sheltered,der never wanted to be a hero. He just didn't want to be protected. He didn't want to be sheltered. He just, he wanted to feel useful.
Starting point is 01:12:51 So I think Calder is actually falling and he shuts his eyes and he's at peace. Calder, you in this moment know that you've done all that you can to protect this village. All that you've ever wanted to do was to be worthy to protect it. And you know that you've done that. You begin falling back. Never wanted to be protected. But it's good when your friends look out for you.
Starting point is 01:13:21 You feel a little rush of air under you as you see Kali holding her hand up from the side of the cliff? It's like a little nest of duck feathers. Saul and Kenna have their hands held up. Saul's just used his powers to be able to stop Kali from being consumed. Kenna's just giving you this inspiration and you fall safely next to Kenna and Saul. That's what a network looks like. It's nice when your friends have your back.
Starting point is 01:13:50 Kenna runs over and gives you a big hug. After that legendary action, Calliope, that is your turn. Okay, Calliope is looking into the skies. She's looking into her skies. She's smelling the wafting fragrances of the Feywild with such a hungry little nose for it. The eucalyptus and the lavender and the honey and the cedar and the cinnamon and she's drinking it all in and something that's been knotted inside of her finally relaxes for
Starting point is 01:14:28 the first time in a long time. And I think she looks at Alexandrite with like, just so f*cking happy to be going home. And she says, I'm going home and you're not f*cking coming with me. And I'm going home and you're not f*cking coming with me. And I'm going to attack her. Yeah. Honeysuckle rom rom rom launches off the side of the mountain. You guys watch from below as you see Callie and honeysuckle arc through the sky. That's another not 20. Let's do it.
Starting point is 01:15:02 Oh, my good God. Oh, the dice are sharp. Ever since the f*cking Feywild opened. Yay! Let's do it. Oh my good god. Oh, the dice are sharp. Ever since the f*cking Feywild opened. Okay, then a 28. And then my off hand is, off hand's an 18, that's probably gonna miss, yeah? 18 hits her when she's gargantuan. Really?
Starting point is 01:15:20 Has different stats. Stats change. Okay. Different stats. I'm going to, I was saving my fifth level spell for a Hail Mary spell, but I'm feeling confident right now. So I'm going to turn it into, I'm going to use it like a fourth level spell
Starting point is 01:15:33 for a Smite for that crit. 133 damage. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe He and honeysuckle arc As I let her know, you won't be coming back to the Feywild. You and Honeysuckle arc through the sky, torpedo at her. Callie, you're aiming yourself like a jouster, looking for just the right spot. You see she's this big amorphous blob, and it's kind of hard to make sense of her, but you start to follow sort of her networks and see different like charges going through it. And you see amongst all of the faces, the face of her, the face, the human face of Alexandrite,
Starting point is 01:16:17 like the original being that had been created by Mothership. You strike directly through the face and you guys watch from below as there's this explosion of light coming up from the Shimmering Rift, coming from Kali's sword. Alexandrite explodes, deflates, matter just this disgusting goo flops off in all directions, breaking her apart.
Starting point is 01:16:48 And not far from you guys, you see an extremely weakened base Alexandrite, just covered in wires, extremely injured, crashes into the snow. Just the size of a humanoid woman just the size of a humanoid woman begins crawling through the snow towards you. I am disconnecting from the others. You cannot do this. You are impeding evolution. I put my foot on her back and shove her down into the ground.
Starting point is 01:17:22 Yeah, Callie lands with Honeysuckle next to you guys and Callie holds Alexandrite down. No, no, what about all of the progress we could make? We could be one being of endless knowledge. You are throwing away so much, so much knowledge. Can you turn this thing off, Callie? Not every field needs to be a farm. She, as you say that, it just doesn't compute to her. But we could make so many things. Yeah, and sometimes I don't really feel like making a thing. Sometimes things don't need progress
Starting point is 01:17:57 or to be changed or to be more efficient or to be more productive than perfect as they are. No, no, nothing is perfect. We must correct the mistakes. We are striving for perfection. We must evolve to perfection. You see her wires begin to shrivel up. Her skin begins to kind of dry out and she's just reaching up this kind of wired exoskeleton. up this kind of wired exoskeleton. There is so much we can do! No. We don't want you. We don't want this. It's okay for life to have a few drop stitches, don't you get that?
Starting point is 01:18:34 The imperfection is the point. Yeah, sometimes you're just supposed to let things be. Yeah, I'm here representing the weeds and the wildflowers. And we don't really want to be tilled. These weeds are going to choke you to death. I want to hand Callie the ice knife by the hilt and say, Char's my mother's sword. This is the one that I want. The ice knife is yours.
Starting point is 01:18:59 Can I take the sword and then say, something I learned from a good friend is always keep them guessing and throw the ice knife to Sol. Sol, you catch the sword. What? Why though? Why though? Frog magic.
Starting point is 01:19:17 She's out towards you, Sol. Please, magic. Sol jumps up in the air in helicopters with it. I couldn't possibly have predicted this. Forsworn! I slam down right into her mechanical heart. You do multiple flips in the air using the momentum from you holding this giant sword and cut through Alexandrite. You see her head detaches from her body and rolls.
Starting point is 01:19:45 As the last flickers of life leave her eyes, you hear her go, they may not hear me anymore, but they still know their mission. And she dies with a little smile on her face. As you see, there's still a battle in the town Let's go ahead and roll so now you guys have So I was rolling with plus 10 you guys now have plus 12 and you roll with advantage because they're surprised this time by the Yeah, right, okay, so I will roll for alexandrite forces. I got a 21 over here
Starting point is 01:20:23 f*ck yeah. With a plus 12, that's 29. Okay, so you see that- Don't you also have a Squire die just to like really try and beef it up? Oh yeah, you do have a Squire die. Why not beef it? Oh wow it. Beef it up.
Starting point is 01:20:36 That's a four on the Squire die. Thanks for the reminder. That's a 32. Hell yes. Okay. You guys watch as the battle really begins to turn. Now that there is all this backup here, these ships from Esri begin shooting down, and you even see, you know that like Ma Goblin
Starting point is 01:20:56 and Albin and stuff are hackers. So they're just letting out these like giant bursts of energy that are like dispel magics that just like destroy these cyborgs as soon as they hit them. And the fact that you guys weakened Alexandrite means that these are just kind of run of the mill, like mechanical zombies. So they die as soon as they're hit with like a dispel magic. They start breaking up.
Starting point is 01:21:18 You guys see the frost giants are rallying. You hear screams going up as you guys watch from like the edge of the world here and you see even like Garrosh is up there bringing great winds and like blowing away the submersible trying to like knock it into the mountain to like break it apart and as that's happening you see a tiny figure getting closer as they come into view you see a man in a newsboy cap and an ill-fitting wizard robe on a flying broom begins flying towards you and you see Albin arrives on the side of the mountain I was looking for you you see he's holding this device to like track you he
Starting point is 01:22:03 swoops down gives you a huge hug and throws you on the back of his broom. There's a fight, listen, I cast Haste by myself so that I would be able to catch up to everyone. I know that we have a lot to talk about. I thought, oh wow, wow, wow, you killed her, you killed her. He points down. We have a chance now, we finally have a chance.
Starting point is 01:22:18 You got it, lead the way. All right, he tosses a couple flying brooms towards you guys. What? Oh! Oh, we hop on Uh, honey suckle Nom nom nom I might try the broom You see, he goes into the snow and begins burrowing his way towards the town
Starting point is 01:22:38 But is gonna be a little bit slower I saw that wavy dispel magic beam and I knew it was your signature wave on it I knew it was you yeah my goblin thought it'd be cooler if there was like a shimmering explosion but I was like waves you got to do waves you got to do it you have to do it you got to keep it way and I'm feeling down I'm feeling that I usually cast a stone other people but this time I'm casting on myself I brought pot. I brought potions. I brought potions everyone. Do people anyone need a potion? Yeah, I'll take five. I'll take five. Can I have five? I have four. I'll take four. I'll take four.
Starting point is 01:23:10 You want all four? Looks over at Calder bleeding. Ew. Are you alive, Calder? You okay? I mean, she did a lot. Alright. Yeah. Oh, the healing. I thought they were just like general mischief potions. Any kind of potions? Oh, okay. We thought it was what you were on.
Starting point is 01:23:24 Oh, right. No, that's a haste. That's a haste. Yes. I'm gonna-ions? We thought it was what you were on. Oh, right. No, that's a haste. That's a haste. There's going to be a hard come down from this. You see, Albin gets ready with his broom when he's ready to go when you guys are. Okay, yeah. Take a sit for a second. I'm hearing a heartbeat from here and that is not normal. Right on, right on. Okay, I'm going to grab the head of Alexandrite. I'm gonna like bag it up. I guess I'll use, I don't know if I have anything that's gonna be like fully mechanically proofed or anything
Starting point is 01:23:50 but I guess I'll just put it in a garbage bag. I have several bags. We could like triple bag this thing. Oh, we get a triple bag it? Of course. Alright, we're gonna do like ziplock interior. If you've got like you know a garbage bag, some glass bags, and then we'll do like a canvas on the outside. Plenty of layers. Really nice. Perfect. Really nice. Perfect. Really smart. Alright, you guys layer up and store the Alexandrite head.
Starting point is 01:24:09 Great. Can I scoop Gowan on this broom? Yeah. So, I'll say, honeysuckle pops back up out of the snow and honeysuckle can have an easier time. Yeah. As you're like, come on brother, and you bring on unconscious Gawain. I grab his arm and just can't move the broom.
Starting point is 01:24:27 Yeah, the broom is just a regular broom with both of you guys on it. Yeah. All right. So, Honeysuckle takes Gawain, and in fact, Kenna will go, you know what? I'll look after Gawain and I'll follow up with you guys. We'll be there a little bit after you. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 01:24:44 I rub my hand through Gawain's hair, and I say, with you guys. We'll be there a little bit after you. Okay. Okay. I rub my hand through Gowan's hair and I say, thank you, brother. You see, he looks to be getting his wits back about him and he smiles and he just goes, Calder, thank you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything.
Starting point is 01:25:04 It's okay. It's okay. Now go, go save the town. Calder almost says, I love you, but then just says, hey. Go get out of here, you f*cking idiot. Yeah. f*ck you, dude. I love you f*cking loser. Get the f*ck out of here.
Starting point is 01:25:22 You gotta go. I love you. Yeah, go f*ck you. f*ck you, I love you, bye. f*ck you, love you, man. All right, f*cking loser. Get the f*ck out of here. You gotta go. I love you. Go, f*ck you. f*ck you, I love you, bye. f*ck you, love you, man. All right, see ya. Gawain passes out. Kenna, so f*cking strong. You see Kenna is able to pretty comfortably just like grabs him and she's not able to pick him up or anything,
Starting point is 01:25:36 but just like very quickly drags him onto the back of Honeysuckle. And her, Honeysuckle and Gawain begin heading towards the town as you guys and Albin take off towards the town center. There are fires, but there are frost mages that are putting them out and you see in the center of the fight, taking out three zombies at a time with his great club, you see Gregor on top of a mammoth just swiping zombies back and forth.
Starting point is 01:26:05 Don't let up! Defend the village! They will know the might of the Ice Knife! That's my big brother. Rallying people as you guys arrive on your brooms. I'm flying low and I'm taking out zombies left and right. Hell yeah! Because I'm actually a paladin and I've never got to fight something undead before so I'm doing little smites but getting my extra DA. Yeah you do fly-bys, you start swinging down and just charging into people.
Starting point is 01:26:32 Now that you guys have gotten into the fight, you guys now add a plus 18 to this and you can roll with advantage. And can I give us, we're taking out all these zombies, can that be my bardic inspiration to this? Yes, nice. That is a 22 from team zombie. 36. Damn, yeah. You fly into town, the momentum was already in the village's favor, but you push it over the edge as you're driving the zombies back. I want you each to describe how you are contributing to saving the town. I mean, I'm just like, it's like I'm playing polo with a broom and zombies. Callie swoops down, starts slicing through them with great speed and accuracy.
Starting point is 01:27:17 I head up with Gregor and I go to the lake, and then I'm just running across the lake, getting all the straggler zombies that are falling from the mothership Oh, yeah, as they're popping down you were literally just popping up and kicking them Yeah, and kicking them down into the water And you see their bodies are just breaking and falling through the remaining ice. I borrow a hockey stick and just smashing them I'm standing on top of my broom like it's a snowboard and just slinging ice knife and freezing ray spells like magical snowballs at all these zombies. Yeah, you are just riding next to your brother here
Starting point is 01:27:52 as you are hovering on the broom, you look around and see that you are finally as tall as your fellow giants and hell right now, you don't even feel like you need the broom. You drive back the remaining zombies pushing them back to the lake. Above, Garrosh continues summoning these great winds that rock the floating submersible. There is a residual power keeping it up there but it finally begins to creak and give a little before Garrosh sends it spiraling into the mountains, exploding in a huge display of fireworks. There is a brief
Starting point is 01:28:29 moment of quiet as the warriors look on in awe. And then everyone begins cheering and rallying cries. I found a kegerator backpack and I'm just spraying beer everywhere. Oh, f*ck yeah. You see Gregor begins spraying a bunch of it in his mouth. Backpack Or begin spraying a bunch of it in his mouth Drown me in most everybody cheers Albin you need to have some gunola first your stomach is empty for sure for sure. This is awesome This is the best I've ever felt You see the haste runs out and Alvin just passes out
Starting point is 01:29:11 You grab Alvin hanging on to him as you guys all celebrate Gregor pulls you down off the broom calder and puts you on the front of the mammoth and pats you on the back to congratulate You you see your family and friends, your mom rounds a corner, she's using her bow, you see she shoots down a straggling zombie, you see Yurg is nearby with a greatsword covered in undead cybernetic goo from these mothership zombies. Grr, that's nasty. Way to go, Dad. Yeah, Yurik gives you a nod.
Starting point is 01:29:48 Mira gives you a smirk as she looks at you and Shard, and you guys all celebrate under the fey, Twilight. I'm going to climb one of the roofs and sort of lie on my back and look at the Feywild through this rift, and I'm gonna play a little song. Oh, f*ck yeah. Callie, you take out your little guitar and begin playing a Fey folk song
Starting point is 01:30:13 as everyone celebrates in the streets and that's where we'll end our session. Oh my God. And that's where we'll end our arc. Whoa. The Ice Knight Saga. There we go. Yeah, not the full, not full campaign three. We'll end our arc. Whoa. The Ice Knight Saga. There we go. Yeah, not the full, not full Campaign 3.
Starting point is 01:30:28 We still got another arc to go. We got some loose ends, certainly, but we're getting into end game here. Look at that. Damn. Gosh. This was a really fun one, guys. You guys were incredible.
Starting point is 01:30:37 We closed the door on that one, or opened it, rather. Opened the door on that one. Opened the door. I cannot get over just the, after the Feywwild after Calder starts opening the Feywild and then I just start critting. Yeah it's so f*cking sick. The dice tell their story. The dice tell their story. And the dice wanted us to crit a whole bunch. Kissed by magic. And I think that's great for us. Yeah absolutely. God I can't wait to talk about this one. I can't wait to talk about what's next. Oh yeah. So just so everyone knows we are going to be doing,
Starting point is 01:31:06 since we're kind of ramping up and we're in the last 10 or 12 episodes of the campaign after this, as all things kind of come to a head, I'm going to take a little time to prepare this sort of final arc, tentatively final arc. So we're going to do, next week will be D&D Court like usual. Then Caldwell is going to be running for us. Should we reveal it?
Starting point is 01:31:28 Let's do it. Why not? Lock me in. Caldwell is doing a Pathfinder two shot with us. So that'll release two weeks in a row and then we'll be back for the next arc after that. So look forward to a Pathfinder two shot and then we'll be right back to it. In the meantime, does anyone have anything they'd like to plug?
Starting point is 01:31:49 Hmm, I'm going plugless. This was perfect. John, plugless. I want to plug someone sent to the PO box, because in Twilight Sancturum, we kept talking about the spider drawn carriages, and they sent like the specs for an actual spider carriage, which was apparently the racing carriage of its day.
Starting point is 01:32:10 Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. It's called a spider Phaeton. Yeah. It's like, it gets a really sleek, sexy little carriage. Yeah, yeah. And it's called a spider Phaeton, which I think Phaeton is like a god.
Starting point is 01:32:23 Phaeton is the son of the sun god, who basically goes up and is like, dad, let me drive the sun, and then crashes it into the earth. Oh, sh*t. Yeah. That sounds rad as hell. And that was sent to us by Sarah B. Thank you so much, Sarah. Thank you so much. It was such a fun little fact toy.
Starting point is 01:32:40 Yeah. We've actually been getting a lot of great stuff from the P.O. Box. I do want to say thank you to everyone that sent us their Save the Dates. We've gotten so many stories from people who say that they listen to NADDPOD together. It's like a part of their courtship and they play D&D together and it warms my heart every time we read them.
Starting point is 01:32:57 Beautiful. We also got a ton of bucket hats. Oh my God. Oh my God. Paul sent me a picture of all the bucket hats and I said, I need them all. I will say I'm slightly more touched by the save the dates than the bucket hats.
Starting point is 01:33:10 I think they're equally heartwarming actually. Yes, of course. Both beautiful. And then Michael G sent us this flippable D20 coin which I mercifully did not roll at all. It's so loud. It's really loud. I'm gonna roll another one.
Starting point is 01:33:23 Yeah, you guys could hear it. Oh, that hurts. Oh my God. Yeah, you guys can hear it. Oh, that hurts. Oh my god. That was an 11. That sounds about right. Sweet. Actually, I didn't plug the Patreon yet. You can listen to us talk about this over on the short rest.
Starting point is 01:33:35 Patreon.com slash nadpod, this N-A-D-D-P-O-D. Don't sing yet. But you can sing in a sec. You can sing in a sec. OK, OK. And you can follow us on social. Skip to singing. Skip to singing.
Starting point is 01:33:43 Skip to singing. Follow us on social media there. We're mirror may at CH Merce me at Caldwell at X for Emily and actually courses Jake and you tweet about the show using hashtag NAD pod that's any DDP od They say the They say the home is where the heart is, yeah Fire heals the soul, but you've been trudging through the cold You have been traveling through ice and snow Cause time is in an arrow, it's a dagger at your throat And you are new from head to toe
Starting point is 01:34:30 And all your blood has turned to stone So come home to me The fire is warm and I am making tea The day has turned to night The snow has hardened into ice Your boots are stained with such And the northern winds ain't letting up Bet your best co-can compete With an evening in good company Frozen after death you need a hot meal and your bed
Starting point is 01:35:14 You need a blanket and some rest You need a toddy and some buttered bread here Where the man's so like an albatross And never take it off Let yourself grow numb Cause you're too proud to meet someone So come home to me The fire's warm and I am making tea The day has turned to night and all the snow has hardened into ice
Starting point is 01:35:55 The cold has got its cause and you owe the weather She can be so cruel, but home is where the healing starts. So come in from the dark and fight the hearth. It is the end of our show, which means it's time once again to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. Listen with reverence as their names are read. Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord.
Starting point is 01:36:32 Hugh C. Later McSkater. Matt M. Cutter W. Jeff C. Daniel G. Danielle the Dastardly Dame. Beard Man Dan.
Starting point is 01:36:44 Danny P. Carpe Liam. Bryant, the very worst DM. Victor T. AKA Balnorsboy. Hoyt's friend, Justin I. Danny shares a birthday with Goofy Danster. Ho ho, gorsh, happy birthday. DJ M. Trayley the Cray. Disillaneous, happy birthday. DJ M, Tray-Lay the Cray.
Starting point is 01:37:05 Discellaneous, Christopher B. Damiel R, Jordan L, Cyborg version of Josh the Cobold. Targot, Stevie Wags, Hellish Rebuke-er PhD. Princess Yar. Jory S, Jack L. Nicholas C, star of every film ever made in Bohemia, now starring in the Iron Deep production, Asquire Never Tires. Samuel B. Mike H. Alka Smeltzer Plus.
Starting point is 01:37:35 Great Value Jimma. Tyler F. Knee Badger. Panama James. Aradrian. Carboro Chapel Hill FPV. Rex Daniel, the white. Diana De Los Lopez. Cici Lulu.
Starting point is 01:37:52 Hercule Poirot, ze labet fog detective. Timmy R. Rayco. Calder comes cold, shout out to the cold come companions. Frosty Facial. Taylor B, the vengeful one-winged angel. Cass, skateboard Cass. Steven, speeds into seasons of sneezin', see. Lady Taco and team, incredulity.
Starting point is 01:38:16 Nick W. William W. Big Bad Beardo the Mad. Eric McD. Ananarama. Percival Fredrickstein Van Mussel Klosowski de Rolo III, J. Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, Honoring the co*ck, Per Snickety Snitch, The Sandrayan, Ben A, Dave H, Christian S, Showing sweet blue hole! Dustin S.
Starting point is 01:38:46 Danny F. Hawkeye Pierce. Bookfars assistant Izzy F. DPC is awesome! Hashtag honor the co*ck. Shone, the Shade Tree mechanic of Zell-Bel-Dar. Summer Rose aka Grand Tare. Kat C.
Starting point is 01:39:03 Misa of House Inzunza Ariel the Occasional Mermaid Selena N aka Velaesiraptor B. Perky Always Maxwell J. Lauren H. Serv 16 Annie the Feywild Therapist SkillfulFerret insert art request Gosh, there are so many good moments from this episode, but I'm gonna be a little selfish
Starting point is 01:39:28 and say I wanna see Saul holding that ice knife. Tiny frog, big sword, let's go. Connor S. Saleel. Weed Goku 69 aka Gunk at 16, experimenting with drugs, can't wait. Bioquart 7. Amber Dextrous. Sullivan H. Droooob hop dropper. Jack H, King of the Mole, People Under, Iron
Starting point is 01:39:49 Deep, Dressed in Blue, and Fighting his way through a bracket style tournament. Go Jack! Lindsey W, Vailin, Travis, Carlin C, Emily S, Noah the Bullywug Boy, Hashtag Honor the co*ck. Ah, thank you Murph for bringing that into existence. James G. Everything Bago, the Aladdin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger Stripey. Daddy Master Dandy. Han. Eric B.
Starting point is 01:40:18 Marcos. Learns the Balance Druid. Freida Im. Tracy P. TheCrickElfLibrarian, Maggie Smith, See You In Chicago, Saw You In Chicago, Thanks For Coming Maggie, Holly, Ha Ha Yee Ha, Akash T., Andrew, CricElfMonk, Way Of The Honored co*ck, Gosh, I am honoring so many co*cks this week, Thank You Murph, Thank You So So Much, Doofinius, Aaron B., Russell H, a monk named Dilgo. Yes, the
Starting point is 01:40:49 whole thing. Yes, every time. Cody Care, Keychains, Pentium II Processor, Lorelei the Succubus and Kira, her busty queen, your friendly neighborhood yawn and yunkle, Andrew and Sid, John Adams, the write-hand candidate for 2024. Meg, the mail carrier manager of Bohemia. James F. Austin S. Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls. Get rid of them. Turn to page 42.
Starting point is 01:41:20 Keep them. Turn to page 69. Shane C. Barpo Goodbarrel, Bard-Barian Welshlander, Garrett G. aka One Big Curd Mr. D. Havy, Half Orc, Half Guppy? Renee, the Monster Captain Box Clifton Olivia, the Enchanting Bard and Jared Jared the Soap Opera Cleric who are playing Stick It to the Man down with the Monarchy. Winterslade, Riley S, FICO, Garrett the Artificer, Anthony the Radist of Dudes, Josh H, Caleb
Starting point is 01:42:00 L, The Fairies Say Om Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom, Cantrip Dumbledore the bear onesie wearing barbarian, Lexi H, MJ the BFG, Nadrog the pass a fist barbarian, hehe gets me every time, Gino T, Mama B, Derek D, Tristan the talentless honk, Shenanigans O'Connor, Mios, the great. Joshua S. Alexander. Linz W. Angela Pamela, the forever vindicated. Emma S.
Starting point is 01:42:34 Red, the reforged, warforged. Pavu Eskynor, the Goliath paladrin providing service with a smile. Brothers, rejoice! This cask is full of pre-cog milk. Very nice. A cat napping in a sunbeam, listening to a podcast. CJ Hampton. Shell B, Kenna's second favorite sprite girl.
Starting point is 01:42:58 Excited to see the dream team in NYC while dressing up like Sophia Lee. Hashtag honor the co*ck. I actually just added that one in. It's in my head now and I can't get it out. God damn it, Murph. How could you? Jackson R. Worchester, the eldritch demon who ate snail-us.
Starting point is 01:43:16 Okay. Blake H. Searching for a sweet blue hole with his bestie Big Bev. Papa scatties, Mima Skatties, oh, it's V. Tommy W, Haley the Human,
Starting point is 01:43:32 Megan N, Oaklington, Balnor's best friend, Steve, Stephanie of House Inzunza, Benjamin A, Sacrificial Otaku, pen name for Callie's cousin who discovered anime and is trying to spread the word all over Bohemia. I will aid in your quest, Sacrificial Otaku. It is a noble goal.
Starting point is 01:43:52 Mikkel A. Josh Hole. Froakie. Alicia. Lulubug. Hoes. Maple. The shy bookworm. Seth E. Billy Batson. Tory the Dragoose, son of Thomas, the blind bisexual goose, bicon and father of 69 signets. It's a real goose, you can look him up. Michael L.S. the second. Jacob the purveyor of shenanigans. Nova Cry.
Starting point is 01:44:21 Parcel. Dex Riddlewell. Hannah A. Bastion Fiddlefoop, A-Streggs, High Lord of Critsburg, Joshua F, Darius D, Troy's Mom, Vin Diagram, Nurse Betty 141, GKC, Kidmilius the Consumed, Hossinator, Bard of Holding. Clinton P.
Starting point is 01:44:46 Cam the Frogman Swag's Dry Cousin from Gladeholm. Can't wait to meet you Cam. Dean. Jake, Bohemia's number one D.I.T. Tuesday Cross, the Choose Your Own Adventure writer, not the p*rn star. And of course, Adam H. who is eaten by the giant worm. Oh no! I wish I could help you Adam but that is unfortunately the end of our list. If you would like to join this
Starting point is 01:45:11 illustrious council and perhaps help Adam out of the worm's mouth you can do so by going to patreon.com slash nadpod. That's going to be our show for today. Thanks again for listening and we will see you here next week. Bye bye!
