Bad Child - Melody_Kisekinara - Zombieland Saga (Anime) [Archive of Our Own] (2024)

My family always said I was the bad child

Throwing me away into the bad pile

All my life been putting on a fake smile

"Can't you be like your older sister!? Damn you, I can't believe you were actually born. Look at her, she can be quiet unlike you," she shouted at a 9 year old girl with blonde hair who could only look down.

"What's wrong again mom? Is Saki causing trouble again", an older girl with long black hair came in. Seeing her sister who was scared, she just kept quiet and rolled her eyes tiredly, "Mom, let go of Saki, what is she doing?", the blonde woman snorted in annoyance, she went to the sofa in the room and took out her cheap cigarette and lit it.
"Seira, take your sister, lock her in the room again, keep that damn child away from me, he doesn't have the guts," the girl named Seira took her sister into their makeshift room in annoyance.

She smiled at her sister who was about to lock the door, but after the door closed ,she cried in silent silence.

Feeling like I always do the wrong things

Telling all their friends that I'm the bad kid

Now I'm on my own, I lost my magic

She was at her school using a used bicycle that she usually used. She walked and saw her older sister with her friends, as usual, popular. "Gosh, my little sister really makes me tired, she always does this and that, and in the end gets scolded. Her grades are always good, but fortunately my mom don't care about her because she only care about me, even my grandmother and grandfather only pay attention to me, I don't know,she looks like an adopted child," her older sister said, it still stuck with him even though he had heard it many times, and his older brother's friend replied, "Wow, it sounds like your sister is really annoying, the girl with messy blonde hair in class 3, right? and ugh, she's really annoying, my little brother always loses academically, I wonder why that is."

It continues like that, even her mother always compares her with her older sister, Seira, for whatever reason, her dad doesn't care about her, but Seira's father still often visits Seira. What is wrong with it?

"Saki-chan, why have you been getting worse lately in all subjects, even though previously you were very skilled, especially in dance and music, are you having problems?", the teacher asked with a worried face. The only one Saki can trust her feelings are only to her, Ms.Ayumi Minamoto.

"I...I...", she looked hard to say, her teacher put a caring hand on her shoulder, the woman looked at her with the same caring blue eyes her mother had given hee. "You just need time to tell it, I understand, Your family doesn't see the extraordinary potential you have, you are talented, Saki, a talent you should be proud of, don't mind what they say, there is nothing meaningful about throwing your whole life away, show them what a legend is."

"Now I'm over it".

And you took a part of me

Left me with the memories, oh

We were never a family

Now you're standing in front of my door

Now, she is 14 years old, she is doing her homework. In front of her room door, her parents are having a big fight, things can be heard breaking everywhere, she can only try to cover her ears while doing her math homework.

Saki, she finished doing her homework and climbed into bed, the cottonwood had already come out so it looked thin. She looked up at the ceiling, not caring about the noise outside her narrow room.

"I regret marrying you!","Huh!? If my poetry hadn't helped you at that time you would have been destroyed!","No wonder your daughter is as bastard as you!","But you were also the one who gave birth to her! I told you to just have an abortion!"

Saki covered her ears with her hands, lying on her side so her other ear was covered by the pillow, the sound was muffled. A beautiful memory passed through her head, 8 years ago.

Her mother was beside her, the same woman who was screaming and saying that she regretted giving birth to her, sat by her bed and sang a lullaby to her and her older sister, her dad was there to make the bed and adjust the broken lamp with another used lamp.

"Damn you! You bitch!","Your daughter is a bitch! You bastard man!".

Like none of this happened at all

I guess I'm always gonna be the bad child

I guess I'm always gonna be the mad child

'Cause you will never understand my weird mind

Whisper after whisper continued to follow when Saki passed by in the school corridor. She didn't even know why she had to stay at school. Now, she had no one to share her feelings with.

"Look, her appearance is really messy", "come on, her brain can't even think clearly", "I understand, yesterday she was punished around the field because she hit one of the teachers' child", "She's stupid, she already knows she's useless, still just do something."

Saki didn't care, she just waited for the time to go home so she could finish, she went to her class and sat in her seat, alone, again.

The world is always against her, the world throws spit at her, the world wants to finish her off, so why is she still alive? When she came home, she was once again surrounded by boy gang at her school, upperclassmen, underclassmen, classmates or whoever, wanting to finish off Saki, but all they got were battered people even though there were many of them.

"You...", One of them was about to get up and hit Saki who wasn't facing him, thinking Saki was careless,s he took a baseball bat with spikes and was about to hit her with it, but he immediately felt a fist on his cheek, "You all never understand my weird mind."

And to every single person here that doubts me

Telling me that they could live without me

'Cause they will never understand my weird mind

Her dad and mom were arguing again, that's what they did, her sister was just there reading magazines and covering her ears. "Can you guys stop!? I'm tired of hearing your whining voices!!", Saki shouted, tired of all this.

They did stop, but instead they turned to her, "Shut up! You're just a useless burden! Can't you just shut up and leave if necessary! You're nothing! You're just a creature that shouldn't have been born! I'd rather think of a street cat as a my child rather than yours," the woman looked at Saki with her green eyes, seeing her daughter reply with teary eyes but smiling.

I've never really been the one to reach out

Acting like my life was squeaky clean now

White Ryu, that's his name, someone who has helped Saki face the harsh reality of this world but she will meet with people who same with her. Bringing her to meet Reiko Kirishima, someone who is just like her.

However, she is not very accessible, she never talks about her family to Reiko or the gang she considers family. She is a member of their family, not 'them'. Pretends her life is squeaky clean now. Everything she does, let it down.

Feeling like I always do the wrong things

Telling all their friends that I'm the bad kid

Now I'm on my own, I lost my magic

It always seemed like she was doing the wrong thing, the people she still called family always looked at her as wrong.

"She's ugh, I don't know, she's always a bother to me and she's a bad kid compared to Seira, I should just stick with my ex, that kid even dyed her hair and learned rude language, I don't know where," she heard her mom gossiping with her friend in the living room. That's right, now her family is only Dorami, her mom probably doesn't even want to come to her funeral.

All her talents, the way of dancing that his mother used to teach her, the way of singing that her dad taught her, she has lost it all, her own older sister doesn't care about her anymore because she lives with her grandmother and grandfather.

Dealing with your bullsh*t, now she over it

And you took a part of me

Left me with the memories, oh

We were never a family

Now you're standing in front of my door

Saki had just come home from a fight, she was very messy but she entered her small house casually, as if nothing had happened. Her mom chuckled sitting on the sofa while smoking, again a memory flashed through her head.

Her mom was there, letting her lie down on her lap, her mom reading a story book with her sister sitting on the floor, her dad occasionally doing strange things, they laughed, exhausted themselves until they fell asleep and were taken to the room.

But that was before, they left Saki with beautiful memories but they were from those whose souls had died, even though their lives were still the same.

"You just came home? Where have you been?" Her mom's cold voice was heard when Saki stepped in, a voice that pierced the stillness of the night air.

"Why do you care anyway?", she didn't lose, answering coldly, her expression different from when she was with herbreal family, her gang. Saki's mom, or the woman who Saki used to think of as her mom,stood up and put out her cigarette, walked over and stood in front of her daughter. "You're getting brave huh!? Of course I have the right to ask because I'm your mother."

"Since when are we family? We've never been family since then, you're not the mom I knew! My mom is dead! You took my mom's heart! Damn...", she stepped past the stunned blonde, but she realized she was about to go and ignore her, "Just so you know! You're still lucky I still let you live here. Now you're standing in front of my door, so don't be stupid, I gave birth to you and this is how you repay me?".

Even though she said that, Saki went into her room, trying to pretend that nothing had happened.

I guess I'm always gonna be the bad child

I guess I'm always gonna be the mad child

'Cause you will never understand my weird mind

My weird mind

And to every single person here that doubts me

Telling me that they could live without me

'Cause they will never understand my weird mind

"Yeah... they always think I'm a bad child, I'm always mad and they don't really like me, I also have an older sister but she has a different father, she's that, damn, to be honest,she's like a slu*t with all her make up on and luckily she live with my grandparents...", before she continued, her story was interrupted by Reiko, "Why don't you come if your parents are like that?", "Good question, Reiko, those damn Grandparents didn't accept me either so while the woman gave me place to live so why not? But my dad was behind bars for about a few years", Reiko fell silent, not wanting to continue this topic of conversation.

"Saki, do you have a goal? I mean, after we succeed", the next question came, Saki was confused, "Of course after this island we will take state experts, what about you?", the answer made her friend chuckle. She then looked at sky and smiled, "You know, my parents are divorced and I don't want my children to experience the same thing as me, so I want to build a family and live a normal life."

A normal life... will she ever get it and understand? Her mind are weird, they don't understand her weird mind, sometimes even Reiko. What she knows is that normal is what she is living, but is there a more meaningful meaning?

"What is normal like? I don't understand," again, her friend chuckled amusedly and winked at Saki, "You won't understand."

They say I've lost my mind

They say I'll never find it

I think they're kind of right

"You've lost your mind huh!? What do you mean you want to race chickens with your stupid gang!? You really can't keep quiet and be a good girl!? Look....," "Look at Seira! If you really want me to see it or you don't care about me, don't talk too much! I will always be a mad child in front of you, why did you leave me with a memory?" "You really can't return to normal, your mind has completely disappeared."

They say I've lost my mind
They say I'll never find it
I think they're kind of right

As days passed, Saki would represent her gang at her own request, it should have been Reiko, but she insisted.
But, she thought everything would go smoothly until...

""Saki! This is not my dream! I never wanted this...I can't, I want to build a family so my children won't suffer!","Your children? I thought you wanted us to be together and... we together get rid of the damn Korosuke gang in two days, and we can do everything, everything Reiko... so that the world doesn't want to fight us...why?".

"Saki, you have a weird mind, you will never find what you are looking for if it's like this, we can't...be together."

Her eyes were full of pain after it was said and entered her sense of hearing, she thought Reiko loved her, but it was clear, Reiko would never love her, her mom was right, she had a weird mind, she thought they were all right.

I guess I'm always gonna be the bad child

I guess I'm always gonna be the mad child

'Cause you will never understand my weird mind

Finally, the chicken race, it arrived, Saki climbed onto her motorbike with confidence, she felt bad but she couldn't think.

Shee will always be the bad child, mad child, and they will never understand her weird mind.

And to every single person here that doubts me

Telling me that they could live without me

'Cause they will never understand my weird mind

That was the end, she was in the hospital bed, when Reiko came, touched her hand, it was something she felt somehow very different. It felt like she couldn't hold on any longer.

For all those who looked down on her, who said they could live without her, it was her ending that would be their gift.
Because, they will never understand her weird mind.

Her heart beat stop.